GOP A-Hole Gets Drugged and Robbed

Gabriel Nathan Schwartz is a 29 year-old attorney and was a Colorado delegate to the Republican convention in St. Paul, Minnesota. He got rolled in his hotel room there by a prostitute (of the female variety):

DENVER — A delegate to the Republican convention says he was robbed of $50,000 after he took a woman to his Minneapolis hotel room.

Gabriel Nathan Schwartz, 29, a Denver attorney and party donor, told police he met the woman in a bar at the luxurious Hotel Ivy and invited her up to his room early on Sept. 4, a few hours after Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin accepted the GOP nomination to be vice president. Police said the woman made the man drinks and told him to get undressed.

Schwartz told police that was the last thing he remembered…

…Police said that when Schwartz awoke, the woman was gone. She got away with a $30,000 watch, a $20,000 ring, a necklace valued at $5,000, earrings priced at $4,000, a cell phone valued at $1,500 and a Prada belt valued at $1,000, police said.

Here’s Gabriel Nathan Schwartz explaining his views on bombing Muslims and taking their oil to the good people at LinkTV.

Mr. Schwartz defended himself with this excuse:

“Also, some media outlets, with no sense of humor, have linked a silly interview that I gave to a little-known Internet outlet. When joking around with its so-called reporters, I thought the interview was a satire and didn’t take it seriously. The interview is a farce and does not accurately express my political views. I endorse the platform of the Republican National Committee.”

Uh-huh. The Poor Man Institute has a good take on this, taking it “as incontrovertible proof that there is a God.” The comment thread there is very funny. All told, I take it as karmic justice that the guy gave that interview, went back to the hotel, picked up a whore, and got rooked out of $50,000 worth of worthless crap.

Author: BooMan

Martin Longman a contributing editor at the Washington Monthly. He is also the founder of Booman Tribune and Progress Pond. He has a degree in philosophy from Western Michigan University.