Progress Pond

My Advice to John McCain

Dear John:

I say this in all sincerity. Do the honorable thing. Step down sir. Fall on your sword. Let your Grand Old Party run the person at the top of the ticket that they really want to run as their candidate. You know who I mean, that simple, moose hunting, baby making, hockey Mom and Defender of the Faith, Sarah Palin. Be honest, you know that’s who your “supporters” really want to see taking on that Black Muslim Terrorist Sumbitch Barack Hussein Obama:

Larry Reid of Molino said:
My wife, friends and I stood in the rain for over an hour and a half. It was worth it to see this outstanding lady. We would do it again.

Sally Dryden of Niceville said:
Standing in the rain, visiting with other good Americans, feeling the desire of all of them to hear Sarah Palin talk about the changes Senator John McCain and she will bring to our government… was a PRIVILEGE! What a woman!. […]

Mary Holton of Milton said:
Thank you for putting this out. I for one could not get tickets until what I thought was the last minute, 10 am, as I thought Gov. Palin would be speaking at 11 am, so figured by the time I got from East Milton, with my 27 month old great granddaughter and husband, would probably be too late. Now I see I missed a great opportunity to have been blessed to have seen this lady in person. I knew NW Florida would do her proud. So sorry I missed this, but so glad so many showed up, never dreaming it would fill to capacity. Praise God.

I know, sir. She’s as dumb as a bunch of rocks. She doesn’t even know how to fly a war plane much less crash three of them. She thinks she can see Alaska from her home in Wasilla for god’s sake, and she believes in witches (and I don’t mean the ex-wife kind either). More importantly she hasn’t put in the years you have in the Senate smarming up to those asshole media types and doing the bidding of lobbyists who funded your political campaigns just so you’d get one more shot at the brass ring of American politics.

But less face it sir. You put people to sleep when you talk. They start heading for the aisles at your rallies when the two of you appear together after she’s done talking and it’s your turn on stage. And she’s even prettier than that rich ice queen blonde trollop of a wife you married (or at least Republican men seem to think so). You looked like you hated every minute you spent debating Obama, while she went right up to your old Pal Senator Biden and disarmed him with a handshake, a smile and a “Can I call you Joe” introduction. She’s comfortable inn her own skin, while you don’t have much of your own skin left under all that pancake make-up.

The fact that she doesn’t know any — well — facts about anything other the need to drill for more oil in Alaska really doesn’t matter, since she never answers the questions the media asks her anyway. You call Obama a decent man while she’s willing to pull out and play the pallin’ around with terrorists card. She’s just relentless as a campaigner in a way you will never be. She’d not only look Obama in the face in the next debate, she’d wink at him!

Why even the good folks at Vets for John McCain get all weak in the knees when they talk about her, as this email I received from them demonstrates:

This past Tuesday Governor Sarah Palin came to Pensacola to demonstrate the importance of this area in the upcoming election. Those of you who witnessed this event had to be stunned by the electric atmosphere inside the Civic Center and the absolutely over the top enthusiasm the crowd showed for Sarah. Thousands of people waited hours in the pouring rain (with accompanying thunder and lightning) to snake through the security check points. The venue was filled to capacity (over 10,000) and the Fire Marshall shut the entrance down with two to three thousand people still in line. Sarah spoke for only twenty minutes and then mingled for another thirty before she had to depart for Greenville, NC for her fifth event of the day. The patience and deportment of the crowds were remarkable – no, unbelievable. That mass of folks were every bit as important a story as was Sarah’s appearance. Pensacola shined and those present witnessed the continued rise of a future political force regardless of the outcome of this election. Sarah Palin is the real deal.

I hate to say it, but I don’t think they talk about you like that, in public or private. Why the first picture that you see on their website is one of her, not you. Maybe they’re trying to send a not so subtle message?

Look, I know it was hard work the last 2 years buddying up to that piece of bullcrap President Bush and his slimy little turdblossom senior adviser, Karl Rove, much less having to listen to Mitt Romney, Mike Huckabee and Fred Thompson (not to mention that screechy Ron Paul guy) drone on for hour upon hour at all those GOP candidate debates. It must have seemed like a dream come true when you finally wrapped up the Republican Party’s Presidential nomination, even though you knew half the bastards hated your guts (and that’s just the Senate Republicans and your own staffers I’m referring to). But now is not the time for true men to shirk their duty.

Do the honorable thing and put your party before your personal belief that you are the only man who can save America. Resign the nomination. I bet if you do, David Broder will give you a cookie. And Fred Hiatt will write you a nice political eulogy.

And Sarah Palin will put you on her Christmas card list. Maybe.

Sincerely,

Steven D

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