The Manhattan apartment building where Bernard L. Madoff lives on New York City’s Upper East Side. AP Photo by Brian McDermott
What crime do I have to commit to get sentenced to house arrest at Bernie Madoff’s Manhattan apartment.
Bear in mind that I’m not a ruthless guy, I’m no more venal than the average Joe, but in spite of a weak resume I am willing to work at this.
I’m advancing in age more rapidly every day and my social security and veterans pensions are being steadily diminished by inflation, fuel prices, governmental and corporate incompetence and criminality.
This economy, cut backs at the VA, and my disabilities have me scratching for beans in my “golden years,” and an extended weekend at Bernie’s (say ten years) is just what I need.
I’m not looking for a handout here, I’m willing to work, within limits. I’ll pick pockets, defraud innocent people of their money, destroy their lives, their futures and the futures of their heirs. I’m an honest guy, what does it take to get remanded to custody in that Manhattan hellhole?
I won’t do violence though, as Muhammad Ali once said of the Vietnamese, “I’ll beat ’em” up, but I won’t kill ’em.
What do I have to do to get sentenced to Bernie’s.
Bob Higgins
Worldwide Sawdust
