One of the downsides of Rick Santorum getting his ass handed to him in the 2006 election is that he isn’t around as much anymore, offering us opportunities to make merciless fun of him. But, today is a good day. Apparently, Santorum is on some kind of national campus tour with the stated intention of waking our college kids up to the menace of Islam. His travels brought him to Lincoln, Nebraska this past Tuesday where he tried to bring a little knowledge to the undereducated.

Santorum is passing through the University of Nebraska-Lincoln as a part of his college campus tour on which he describes to students what he believes are the dangers in not knowing what is going on in the Middle East.

“I talk to college students because I can have an intellectual conversation, and they usually don’t agree with me,” Santorum said. “I like to state my case (to students) and let them decide who to believe.”

It’s kind of funny that Santorum seeks out ‘intellectual conversations’ about the Middle East with people that he assumes don’t know what is going on in the Middle East, but at least he’s aware that college students generally don’t agree with his interpretation of what goes on there, even though they don’t know what goes on there. In any case, Santorum probably uses this next device in all his lectures in order to demonstrate both his own knowledge and the dimness of his audiences.

Santorum also gave the audience a lecture on Islam. When he asked the audience who knew the difference between the Sunnis and the Shi’ites, three audience members raised their hands. Santorum said this proved his point – America has been at war with Islam for seven years and doesn’t know the two branches.

I’ll admit that this is one particular pet peeve that I share with Little Ricky. Whether it is Chimpy McFlightsuit or House Intelligence chairman Silvestre Reyes, I get irritated when the people responsible for our security cannot demonstrate the most basic knowledge of Islam, such as what distinguishes the Sunni and Shiite branches of the religion. That’s why I really enjoyed this next bit of Santorum’s lecture.

The lecture continued when Santorum pointed out what he thought were the main differences between Christians and Muslims. Santorum said Christians, who believe in Jesus Christ, never governed or conquered anyone, but Mohammed was a warrior and killed people.

Santorum said he believes Muslims’ religious views cannot be changed or altered, so Middle Easterners reject American, democratic ideals.

“A democracy could not exist because Mohammed already made the perfect law,” Santorum said. “The Quran is perfect just the way it is, that’s why it is only written in Islamic.”

Personally, I studied Ancient Greek in college, but I would have studied Islamic if it had been offered by our language department. It wasn’t offered by our language department, however, because Islamic is not a language. Even the majority of morons know that the Koran was written in Arabic. Hell, more people know that than know that the New Testament (Καινὴ Διαθήκη) was written in Greek and that Jesus spoke Aramaic.

Ultimately, the article doesn’t say whether the college students agreed with Santorum’s views on religion, but this gives us hope that he won a few converts.

Santorum received two standing ovations from the crowd.

Outstanding!!