Progress Pond

Breaking news shock: European Parliament Elections Cancelled

Cross posted from TH!NK ABOUT IT and The European Tribune and Daily Kos


In a shock development it has emerged in the last hour that the European Parliament Elections scheduled for this June are to be cancelled.  A Spokesman for Commission President Barroso stated that it had been decided to cancel the elections for reasons of a lack of public interest.

“We have conducted an extensive survey of EU citizens and have concluded that the turnout is unlikely to be in excess of 30%.  In the circumstances a fair and valid outcome, as required under the Nice Treaty, is unlikely to be possible.  Less than 15 % of EU citizens were aware that the elections were due to happen in any case, so there is unlikely to be much public disappointment at their cancellation”.

The spokesman added that as Manuel Barroso was already assured of re-appointment as Commission President, an additional election now would serve little purpose.  Given the scale of the current economic downturn, it is vital that we economise on all unnecessary expenditure, and the cancellation is expected to save hundreds of millions of Euro in election expenses in the member states.

In a further economy measure, sittings of the current Parliament will be restricted to Brussels and will take place only for 1 week in each month.  This is expected to save a further €1.5 Billion in Parliamentary and associated administrative expenses.  “This reduction will also make a significant contribution to achieving our Kyoto targets for reduced greenhouse emissions”, the spokesman added.

A spokesperson for President Sarkozy stated that the French delegation would walk out of the Parliament if at least half the remaining sessions were not conducted in Strasburg.

A spokesman for the Czech Presidency of the EU was unavailable for comment, although one Czech source who didn’t want to be named stated that the measure was unlikely to be opposed by the Czech Presidency as as half the Parliament had walked out on President Klaus at a recent session of the Parliament in any case.  “No doubt the Parliament will operate even more efficiently if its sessions are reduced by half” he stated.

Declan Ganley, the Chairman of Libertas, complained that this was a disgraceful attempt to prevent Libertas from achieving a significant presence in the next Parliament.  “This is typical of the elitist bureaucracy in Brussels and their contempt for popular democracy ” he added.  “Libertas would be quite happy to fund the elections with donations it was receiving from all over the world, so there is no excuse for the EU not to go ahead with the elections.  Libertas is currently outspending all other political parties in Ireland in any case”.

The cancellation of the elections is expected to be discussed on the fringes of the G20 summit in London.  A spokesman for President Obama stated that it was their view that Europe needed a political stimulus package and the President would be happy to put his fundraising machine, BarackObama.com, at the disposal of the Commission.  It is understood that the CIA has already earmarked significant funds for the election in any case.

A spokesperson for Prime Minister Putin, attending the G20 Summit in London stated, that Russia had long been of the view that elections were over-rated in any case.  “When you have an outstanding leader like Vladimir Putin, you do not need to have an election so often”, he stated, noting that Mr. Putin had remained in power despite not even standing for re-election as President.

A Spokesman, for Prime Minister Brown, the G20 Summit host, noted that they had also cancelled plans for referenda on the EU constitution in nearly all EU member states.  “If it weren’t for those bloody Irish, no one would have noticed” he added off the record.

It is expected that the cancellation will also help the Parliament avoid the embarrassment of having Jean-Marie Le Pan as its President for one day in July – as it is customary for the oldest MEP to be President of the Parliament until a new President is elected.  “It is expected that all the Officers and leaders of the Parliament will remain in place until new elections can be scheduled” stated April O’Foolsjoke, a Parliamentary spokesperson.  “We are hoping that Monsieur Le Pen, 80, won’t be around when  the next elections are called.”   She noted that Le Pen himself had often stated that elections were but a minor detail of history.

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