Progress Pond

Man on Dog’s Presidential Dreams

The GOP has such a deep bench of possible presidential pretenders contenders. Newt “Family Values = Filing Divorce Papers on my First Wife with Cancer while cheating on her” Gingrich.” Sarah “I see Russian Death Panels From my Front Porch” Palin. Senator “I’d make a Great Pitchman for Viagra” Ensign. Mitt “Hey, At Least I’m Not Crazy, I’m Just Mr. Roboto” Romney. Mike “I’m on Fox News, just like Glenn Beck (except no one watches me)” Huckabee. Tim “Me and the Tenth Amendment Don’t Want your Stinking Heath Care Reform” Pawlenty.

And now, my all time favorite Former Republican Senator and NSFW Stand-up Comedian is adding his name to the list of those who can’t wait to run against That Marxist Fascist Islamic Illegal Alien Terrorist from the Planet Blackamoor in 2012. Maybe.

Speaking to a gathering of Catholic leaders in Orlando, Florida, on Friday night, [Former Senator Man on Dog Sex] Santorum said that, as recently as six months ago, when President Barack Obama was riding high in the polls, he wouldn’t have contemplated a run — but the political environment has changed.

“I hate to be calculating, but I see that 2012 is not just throwing somebody out to be eaten, but it’s a real opportunity for success,” he told the crowd, according to LifeSiteNews.com.

The news site also reported that Santorum had “asked for prayers” for his 2012 run.

Dear Rick, may God answer my prayer that you go all in on this Presidential run thing. I can’t imagine anyone short of Sarah “I’m a Real American — You Betcha” who would provide as much pure comedy material for the Progressive blogosphere than you would. I’m rootin’ for ya pardner! Cuz you can never have enough discussion of Santorum on the Cable Infotainment Programming. What’s more, now that Jon and Kate have split up, you could even start your own reality TV Show to build your name recognition! There’s nothing like really wholesome family entertainment to get your Q factor up. Trust me.

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Exit mobile version