Anybody see this piece of crap? Okay, here’s a sample:

I have a solution: Dharma-style food stamp reform. Fans of “Lost” will recognize the reference, but for those who did not watch the show, the Dharma Initiative packaged its own food to supply members of the project on the island. Each item came in a package with a simple black-and-white label and a basic description. Beer cans were marked with the word “Beer.” It probably tasted as bad as it looked. In any case, here is a picture:

Dharma-style food stamp reform would have four basic components. First, the federal government would create a government “brand” of essential food items such as milk, cheese, meat, cereal, vegetables, bread, peanut butter, beans, juice, soup, baby formula, diapers, etc., and would package the items with simple black-and-white labels and basic descriptions. The word “Government” would be stamped across the top in bold letters so everyone would know it was a welfare item. These items could be manufactured by major companies through government contracts, thus not creating a net loss to private industry. Because competition is not an issue, taste and quality, with the exception of the baby formula and baby food, would not be a top priority. Snacks, soda, cigarettes and beer would not be available through the program.

You can imagine where it goes from there. Once you decide to give poor people low-quality food, you’ve pretty much put yourself permanently in the world’s biggest a-hole and Jesus-hates-you category. The interesting thing is what inspired this thought experiment. A woman in front of him in line at Wal-Mart was using food stamps to buy staple items like bread and cereal and milk. So, what was the problem? Well, she was also talking on an expensive cell phone and had a nice purse. Oh, and she was buying beer, cigarettes, and snacks with her own money.

We see these arguments a lot. You shouldn’t be able to get government assistance to feed your children until you’ve canceled your phone, cable, internet, car, gym, etc. Or, you can’t buy some diapers for your kid unless you quit smoking and drinking. Hey!! Why don’t we drug test these people? Can we get a vaginal probe?

I have trouble even responding to this line of thinking because it’s so miserly and judgmental. But, you know, you aren’t going to help mommy find a job by taking away her cell phone and internet connection. Banning television might work though.