Mitt Romney wants us to believe something that, if true, would make him a felon. That’s just basic. You can’t make false sworn statements to the government of Massachusetts or the United States. And he either lied to Massachusetts when he testified that he attended board meetings at Bain Capital and its affiliates during the period in question or he lied in his federal disclosure forms when he said (effectively) that he did not. In any case, his campaign is furious with Stephanie Cutter for making a plain statement of tautological fact.

Obama official Stephanie Cutter made the claim following a Boston Globe article that said documents show Romney was in charge at Bain for three years longer than he had claimed. Cutter said Romney was either misrepresenting his position at Bain to the Securities and Exchange Commission, “which is a felony,” or misrepresenting to the American people.

Romney campaign manager Matt Rhoades issued a blistering statement in response.

“President Obama’s campaign hit a new low today when one of its senior advisers made a reckless and unsubstantiated charge to reporters about Mitt Romney that was so over the top that it calls into question the integrity of their entire campaign,” Rhoades said. “President Obama ought to apologize for the out-of-control behavior of his staff, which demeans the office he holds. Campaigns are supposed to be hard fought, but statements like those made by Stephanie Cutter belittle the process and the candidate on whose behalf she works.”

Ms. Cutter seems unfazed as she just sent out a blast email to everyone on Obama’s list reiterating that Romney is a big fat liar who has a shady business in Bermuda, offshore bank accounts in tax shelters, won’t disclose his billionaire bundlers, and won’t release his tax returns. I think she’s enjoying herself, actually.

The Romney campaign’s “OMG! They called me a felon” outrage is pretty comical considering that he’s the one who swore under penalty of perjury both that he was the CEO of Bain and attended board meetings and that he had “not been involved in the operations of any Bain Capital entity in any way.” The only problem is figuring out which document is the false one.

And, of course, this is all largely irrelevant because even if everything Romney had ever said or sworn or testified to about his time at Bain were true, it wouldn’t exonerate from the charge that he personally enriched himself by destroying hard-working American people’s lives. His defense that a company that he owned and controlled and that made him hundreds of billions of dollars did nothing he can be held responsible for is so risible that he should be prosecuted for insulting our intelligence.