Mitt Romney won the Republican nomination simply because every one of his opponents demonstrated that they were unstable in some way. The only exception was Jon Huntsman, and he didn’t appeal to the party base. That makes it difficult for Romney to choose advocates to speak at the convention. Rick Perry might show up drunk. Michele Bachmann might arrive with a list of communists in the State Department. Ron Paul might ask the nation, “how many of you party with heroin?”
The last time Herman Cain attended a convention…well…you don’t wanna know. Romney can only hope that Newt Gingrich won’t discuss moon colonization at Newt University. And maybe Rick Santorum can leave out the bestiality jokes.
Romney can’t turn to any prior Republican presidents, and their vice-presidential candidates (Quayle, Cheney, and Palin) are a collective joke. Colin Powell switched sides. And Donald Trump is going to be busy:
In an interview, Mr. Trump happily explained his appeal with voters. “They like what I say,” he said. “I’m a very popular guy, as crazy as it might sound. It’s nice to be loved.”
So loved, in fact, that the high demand for Trump appearances may just conflict with his ability to be in Tampa that week, he said. “The Republican Party in Sarasota — you’ve probably heard of this — they’re giving me the Statesman of the Year award,” he said, adding that he did not want to overextend himself.
So, Romney is left with the worst National Security Adviser in the history of the country (Condi Rice), two of the most unpopular governors in the country (Rick Scott and John Kasich), the toxic Rick Santorum, the absolutely nutty Rand Paul, and the cantankerous John McCain.
The remainder of the roster includes the female governors of South Carolina (Haley), Oklahoma (Fallin), and New Mexico (Martinez), Mike Huckabee and Jeb Bush.
If you think about it, the only speaker other than Romney who comes from north of the Mason-Dixon line is John Kasich. I guess Condi has some coastal cred from her time in Palo Alto, but the rest of this crew is purely southern or southwestern. The Democrats’ Keynote speaker is from San Antonio.
It’s a sad lineup, but I can’t say that I could have done much better in weeding out the Crazy. I predict that things will not go well.
