Mitt Romney won the Republican nomination simply because every one of his opponents demonstrated that they were unstable in some way. The only exception was Jon Huntsman, and he didn’t appeal to the party base. That makes it difficult for Romney to choose advocates to speak at the convention. Rick Perry might show up drunk. Michele Bachmann might arrive with a list of communists in the State Department. Ron Paul might ask the nation, “how many of you party with heroin?”
The last time Herman Cain attended a convention…well…you don’t wanna know. Romney can only hope that Newt Gingrich won’t discuss moon colonization at Newt University. And maybe Rick Santorum can leave out the bestiality jokes.
Romney can’t turn to any prior Republican presidents, and their vice-presidential candidates (Quayle, Cheney, and Palin) are a collective joke. Colin Powell switched sides. And Donald Trump is going to be busy:
In an interview, Mr. Trump happily explained his appeal with voters. “They like what I say,” he said. “I’m a very popular guy, as crazy as it might sound. It’s nice to be loved.”
So loved, in fact, that the high demand for Trump appearances may just conflict with his ability to be in Tampa that week, he said. “The Republican Party in Sarasota — you’ve probably heard of this — they’re giving me the Statesman of the Year award,” he said, adding that he did not want to overextend himself.
So, Romney is left with the worst National Security Adviser in the history of the country (Condi Rice), two of the most unpopular governors in the country (Rick Scott and John Kasich), the toxic Rick Santorum, the absolutely nutty Rand Paul, and the cantankerous John McCain.
The remainder of the roster includes the female governors of South Carolina (Haley), Oklahoma (Fallin), and New Mexico (Martinez), Mike Huckabee and Jeb Bush.
If you think about it, the only speaker other than Romney who comes from north of the Mason-Dixon line is John Kasich. I guess Condi has some coastal cred from her time in Palo Alto, but the rest of this crew is purely southern or southwestern. The Democrats’ Keynote speaker is from San Antonio.
It’s a sad lineup, but I can’t say that I could have done much better in weeding out the Crazy. I predict that things will not go well.
That is such transparent bullshit it’s got to be a fuck-you… right? And if true, the Sarasota Republicans are also saying “fuck you” to the national convention.
Donald Trump, Statesman of the Year?
That’s the party we’re up against?
A party slowly and thankfully swirling down the drain.
If Trump is even telling the truth…which is rare.
But, yeah, I think we can all recount examples of Trump’s amazing statesmanship over the last year.
He did get a larger audience, more respect, and fewer laughs and face palms for repeating Orly Taitz’ birther nonsense. So, yeah, he must be a statesman.
It’s a tough job weeding out the crazies when they are the ones pulling in the big bucks in campaign season.
It’s a bold prediction, that things will not go well. Last time around, the usual suspects made all the usual noises (Guliani — a noun, a verb and 9/11, et. al.). They still got a huge bumb. I’m guessing the same thing will happen this time. People are easily swayed.
Huge bumb? Is that a British term?
😉
It’s “bomb” and “bump” merged into what may well happen: a bump and then a bomb, so close together that they merge.
I like it. Nice job finding deep meaning in my typo. Reminds me of Woody Allen’s line about the merging of commentary and dissent.
Last time they had a shiny new thing that female fundies identified with and white males wanted to fuck. That critical five percent of the electorate came to their senses within a few weeks.
Also must remember that the opposition never threw any big punches at McCain for fear of activating his POW/war hero shield. Rmoney lives in many glass houses.
Rice went to high school in Denver (catholic school in an upscale suburb and undergraduate at the University of Denver.
She lived in Alabama until she was 13. But, as I noted, she’s spent enough time out of the South to not be considered strictly a southerner.
OK, but she’s spent most of her life, and all of her adult life, outside the South.
Proving she is not entirely crazy.
Noticed you didn’t mention Jindal. Just curious: do you think he’s out of the running?
I did not see him with a speaking slot. So, he may be one of the finalists. No announced speaking slots for T-Paw or Portman, either. Or Thune.
Oh, I see. Thanks!
Makes me think, veep short list. Should be on the roster somewhere but not yet announced.
Maybe they’ll have Sheldon or the Kochs snarl a few words.
There’s got to be a few people up on the podium who isn’t from a former Confederate state.
The reversion of the GOP into the CSA may be real, but it can’t be obvious.
I’m surprised that Christie’s not on the short list. Public employees are public enemy #1 in Crab-bucket America.
calvin notes with relish the obvious omission of WI Governor Scott Walker who is a confirmed speaker. When you’ve defeated the demons in a recall election after racking in big bucks from Wingers around the country, the poster boy is assured of mucho face time in prime time.
It should be noted that on his previous job, Milwaukee County Administrator, he ran up a huge deficit and left town. BTW, when running for County Executive, he LOVED recall elections. Then, as Governor, not so much.
Look for him to come up with some repugnant proposals after the election. He’ll play nice until then. But, fear not, a tiger doesn’t lose his stripes.
Hey, Newt’s moon colonization plan is the only sensible idea he ever had!
If they want a roster of speakers, best bet is to scrape from the CPAC barrel. It’s not like the media is going to do cover it any differently.
Chances are good, though, that most of the media oxygen will be consumed in coverage of whatever the Tampa authorities get up to in “containing the Occupy threat.”