I want a AH-64 Apache attack helicopter. I am assured that it is the best attack helicopter in the world and if it’s not, it’s close enough. It can fly 184 miles per hour. It can go 323 miles on a tank of gas. It has a 30mm automatic cannon that can fire 1200 rounds, and it can carry 16 antitank Hellfire missiles. It can also carry 76 unguided 2.75 inch rockets. With this helicopter, I could theoretically destroy 80% of a standard Russian tank battalion in a single sortie. I am firmly convinced that possession of this helicopter will prevent me from ever having to worry about a situation where law and order breaks down because the police can’t travel, there’s no communication. And there are armed gangs roaming around neighborhoods. In fact, the mere possibility of such a breakdown in civilization means that I have an inalterable and inalienable right to this helicopter, because there is nothing so poorly regulated as an armed gang.
At first, I thought that a semiautomatic AR-15 rifle or a double-barrel shotgun would be sufficient, especially if equipped with the correct accouterments. But the more I dwell on Lindsey Graham’s dystopian talking points, the more I feel compelled to be on the safe side.
I’m going with the AH-64 Apache attack helicopter. Just try and stop me.
The gun debate has been a giant Rorschach test of what they fear.
And rather than do anything at all to prevent societal breakdown in the first place, they accept its inevitability and go straight to arming themselves.
In their terrified hearts, they believe that there’s nothing that can be done- the blahs are always looking for a reason to take them apart limb by limb, and property by property. Even reparations wouldn’t stop them, they think.
As for BooMan, what a great neighbor you would be! Can I bring you a pie? LOL
Although, BooMan, I reserve the right to brandish my shoulder-fired rocket and bring down your helicopter in a rain of hellfire if we develop a neighborhood disagreement. So, you like pecan pie, RIGHT??
You’re right!!
I need one of those super-quiet choppers that evade radar like the ones we used to get bin-Laden.
Oh shit, now the whole block’s in trouble. Hey, that dog of yours can go anywhere it wants…
Thanks for the great addition to the Neighborhood Watch program.
I want a b2 bomber.
Ahh Rep GUILT, she’s a tough one to bury. Here goes Graham reminding himself that somewhere deep inside he knows what he has done is indefensible.
I’ll just go to the nearest school where gun-totin’ school marms will keep me (and their students) safe from any possible harm, while I brush up on the three R’s.
Hey, it’s a free country.
Sure, the chopper is nice. But I want drooooones.
Just to piss off Rand Paul and all the rest of the nutters.
Booman a few relevant facts,
Flight time to maintenance time is about 32 to 1, meaning you’d have to work on your Apache thirty two man hours hours on average to ever hour you spend flying it. That is why most military have 5-6 man teams working on them. Shortens down time after each mission.
The over all cost of this is about $59,000 per hour of flight (including original costs) you weren’t gonna steal one were you?
PS; each of those hellfire missiles you want to shoot cost about $70,000 a piece, really ups you hourly costs if you decide to unload on somebody.
Better start your own wall street bank to fund your new defensive weapons decision.
BTW if you decide to go in this direction I want in on the original options, and of course in any insider tips you might have, no reason to stop at the AH-64, lets go for a nuclear sub …….
think of who will give you respect with one of those thingys …. 😉 besides I hear the pentagon is gonna have to cut costs we might get a good on at real low prices, crew costs extra.
BTW; IF I remember right we could dock right in the Aker Philadelphia Shipyard.
Let some local beuro-crat try and stop us.
I’m getting a surface-to-air missile in case Booman’s gang comes into my neighborhood.
Maybe I better get one, too. Do you know if Walmart sells them yet?
Lindsey Graham: OK, I know the guy is soiling himself because of the “tea party” gang after his scalp in SC, but even so his extremist pandering is, well, simply nauseating.
Next to the Human Turtle and Walnuts, he’s quickly becoming the Repub. senator I despise the most. I heard him blabbing on NPR tonight about his “hope” that Obama would “compromise” with the Repubs on some issue, and I had to punch the radio button off before even hearing what the “issue” he was talking about was (like that would matter). You know your dislike is visceral when you find you can’t even stand the sound of someone’s voice. I’m there with this goober, fer sure.
Boo, you want to stop evildoers in the 21st century, a suitcase nuke is the only way to go. Mutually Assured Destruction is what will keep all of us safe. A chicken in every pot, a nuke in every garage.
Great Bruce Cockburn song!
http://youtu.be/N7vCww3j2-w
Here’s my take on the logical upshot of your post about the ever-upward-spiralling of the 2d Amendment. Enjoy.
http://alterx.blogspot.com/2013/03/2d-amendment-spirals-ad-absurdum.html
I might be able to get you one of these bad boys wholesale. Used to work pilot rescue with them back when I was doing crash crew. You want respect? This is the ultimate accessory to generate street cred in the hood.