During a recent hearing at the California Assembly’s Water, Parks and Wildlife Committee, things got a little heated and not a little confusing. They were attempting to mark up an update to the Global Warming Solutions Act of 2006, which sets the 2020 greenhouse gas emissions reduction targets for the Golden State. I found a transcript, but I’ll be damned if I can make heads or tails of the following exchange:
California Assemblywoman Shannon Grove (R): Texas was in a long period of drought until Governor Perry signed the fetal pain bill. It rained that night. Now God has his hold on California.
Assemblyman Walter Sobchak (D): The man in the black pajamas, Ma’am. Worthy fuckin’ adversary.
Shannon Grove (R): Who’s in pajamas, Walter?
Walter Sobchak (D): Shut the fuck up, Shannon.
Shannon Grove (R): I believe –and most Americans believe –that God’s hand is in the affairs of man, and certainly was in the formation of this country.
Walter Sobchak (D): Were you listening to the climate scientist’s testimony, Shannon?
The Chairman: Walter…
Shannon Grove (R): What?
Walter Sobchak (D): Were you listening to the climate scientist’s testimony, Shannon?
Shannon Grove (R): I was playing with my iPhone.
Walter Sobchak (D): So you have no frame of reference here, Shannon. You’re like a child who wanders into the middle of a movie and wants to know…
The Chairman: (interrupting) Walter, Walter, what’s the point, man?
Walter Sobchak (D): There’s no reason – here’s my point, Mr. Chairman, there’s no fucking reason why these two…
Shannon Grove (R): Yeah, Walter, what’s your point?
Walter Sobchak (D): Am I wrong?
The Chairman: No, you’re not wrong.
Walter Sobchak (D): Am I wrong?
The Chairman: You’re not wrong, Walter. You’re just an asshole.
Walter Sobchak (D): Okay, then.
Shannon Grove (R): The Founders put God in the center of this nation by recognizing Him as a giver of our rights. Is this drought caused by God? Nobody knows.
Walter Sobchak (D): Life does not stop and start at your convenience, you miserable piece of shit.
Shannon Grove (R): (to the Chairman) What’s wrong with Walter?
Walter Sobchak (D): Also, let’s not forget – let’s not forget, Shannon – that keeping wildlife, an amphibious rodent, for uh, domestic, you know, within the city – that ain’t legal either.
The Chairman: What are you, a fucking park ranger now?
Walter Sobchak (D): No, I’m…
The Chairman: Who gives a shit about the fucking marmot!
Shannon Grove (R): But biblical history shows a consequence to man’s actions; we do know for sure that California’s water shortage crisis has been compounded by liberal politicians’ poor decisions…
Walter Sobchak (D): You’re entering a world of pain, Shannon.
Shannon Grove (R): …not properly managing our water resources and refusing to build water storage for decades.
Walter Sobchak (D): You know, Shannon, I myself dabbled in religious lunacy once. Not in ‘Nam of course.
The Chairman: Then you know she’s got emotional problems, man.
Walter Sobchak (D): (to the chairman) You mean… beyond religious lunacy?
The Chairman: Walter, they’re calling the cops, put the piece away…
I am not sure what any of this had to do with the proposed bill which aims to strengthen the state’s low-carbon fuel standard, lower the cost of putting solar energy on the grid, and further address emissions of GHGs like black carbon and methane.
But I think I want to buy Assemblyman Sobchak a beer.