I have a memory for some things, especially if they are monumentally stupid. For example, I remember when, back in March 2011, Sen. Rand Paul declared in a Senate hearing that “my toilets don’t work in my house” and “we have to flush the toilet ten times before it works.” At the time, he was addressing Kathleen Hogan, the deputy assistant secretary for energy efficiency at the Energy Department. It was part of a larger rant in which Sen. Paul complained that the government was threatening him with prison if he used the wrong light bulb or dishwasher and seriously argued that women have more choices about how to obtain an abortion than he has about how to dispose of his poop. How’s that for Men’s Rights?
I mention this now because I was reminded of it when I saw that Donald Trump has an explanation for why his hair looks like it’s been treated with “rubber cement and snot” and has the color of either “Burnt-Cheetos Auburn” or “Cigar-Stained-Teeth Blonde.”
Republican presidential front-runner Donald Trump says water regulations are making it difficult for him to keep his famed mane clean.
Asked about the Environmental Protection Agency’s (EPA) “Waters of the United States” rule at a campaign event in Aiken, S.C., on Saturday, Trump said it significantly impairs his ability to rinse, lather and repeat.
“I’ll give you one regulation,” Trump said. “So I build, and I build a lot of stuff. And I go into areas where they have tremendous water. … And you have sinks where the water doesn’t come out.
“You have showers where I can’t wash my hair properly,” he added. “It’s a disaster.
“It’s true. They have restrictors put in. The problem is you stay under the shower for five times as long.”
When Sen. Rand Paul was done blaming deputy assistant Energy secretary Kathleen Hogan for his massive unflushable shits, she had a simple rejoinder: “I can help you find a toilet that works.”
Who will find The Donald a shower that can deal with rubber cement?
