Progress Pond

Wankers of the Day: Todd and Cuban

The worst thing about billionaires isn’t that they have too much money. It’s that they have so much of it that we are all forced to listen to every crackpot thing that they say. So, for example, NBA owner Mark Cuban can go on television, nominate himself for Hillary Clinton’s running mate, and then lecture her about how he won’t accept the position unless she moves to the center.

“You’ve said that you would love to be Clinton’s running mate as long as you were allowed to throw bombs at (Donald) Trump. If she really did come to you, would you listen?” NBC’s Chuck Todd asked Cuban on “Meet the Press.”

“Absolutely. But the key would be she would have to go more to center,” Cuban said in the interview, a portion of which was released on Friday. “I like the fact that Sen. Clinton has thought out proposals. That’s a good thing, because at least we get to see where she stands. But I think Sen. (Bernie) Sanders has dragged her a little bit too far to the left.”

In case you’re not familiar with him, Mark Cuban runs his mouth just as much as Donald Trump, and the list of things he’s said that would be a liability to Hillary Clinton would look as thick as a holiday edition Vanity Fair.

And his temperament isn’t really better than The Donald’s, either, as is clear from this 2006 quote by his star player, Dirk Nowitzki of the Dallas Mavericks.

“He’s got to learn how to control himself as well as the players do. We can’t lose our temper all the time on the court or off the court, and I think he’s got to learn that, too. He’s got to improve in that area and not yell at the officials the whole game. I don’t think that helps us … He sits right there by our bench. I think it’s a bit much. But we all told him this before. It’s nothing new. The game starts, and he’s already yelling at them. So he needs to know how to control himself a little.”

Half the people listen to every damn thing he says because they think they’ll learn the secret of how to become a billionaire. The rest of us listen to him because he’s on television, and he’s on television because he’s so rich that the other half will listen to any damn thing he has to say.

Chuck Todd must have thought he’d really done well when he landed a Meet the Press interview with Cuban. It was bound to “make news.” Except the guy is actually so uninteresting that he had to manufacture the news by pretending that Hillary Clinton would consider this blowhard hothead pro wrestling veteran for veep.

You’re welcome.

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