No matter how long I live, I don’t think I’ll ever fully understand what is going on on top of Donald Trump’s head.
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BooMan
Martin Longman a contributing editor at the Washington Monthly. He is also the founder of Booman Tribune and Progress Pond. He has a degree in philosophy from Western Michigan University.
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I know it’s petty but funny as hell
Pass it around and wait for Trump’s tweet
Bald, no bald , you be bald
his bald pink head looks exactly like unmasked Darth Vader‘s.
About the only joy in mocking Trump these days is that he truly hates it. It would be unimportant to a bigger man,but it really bothers him to be portrayed in the media as a buffoon and a moron with idiotic hair.
A “bigger man” wouldn’t wear an extreme comb-over that a gust of wind could expose the nothing underneath. Or big-ass military parade to pump his fragile ego. (Was the last one GHWB’s? Trump’s should make him look as ridiculous as the last one did GHWB.)
Wonder if anyone has seen him without make-up in the past fifteen years. Would explain why he and wifey have separate bedrooms and why he insisted on a lock for his WH bedroom.
The bedroom lock?
Simple.
He’s a shape-shifting alien. In order to maintain this deceit and avoid running running low on shape-shifting power, he needs to go back to his original state of being…fairly reptilian, I surmise…at least once every 24 hours.
Of course…so is Melania, but they can’t do it in the same room. Too much chance of a violent reptilian fight breaking out. You know how those reptiles are…
So it goes on this remote planet. You should see the problems they got in Alpha Centauriville!!!
Oy!!!
Later…
AG
P.S. Take a good look at the initial image in the article linked by Booman. Are those scales I see? Or maybe some sort gill-like thing on the left side of his neck!!!??? Now I’m really frightened!!!
Reptilians? Snork! Here, AG, put this hat on your head.
With a lock no one can stop his early morning tweets. Or, as you suggest, see him in his natural (ugly) state.
I have a collection of Trump nicknames.
From now on I’m just using:
“Baldy”
Here are some others:
President [Codename: Raymond Shaw]
Orange Shitgibbon
Papaya Pol Pot
Cheez-Whiz Ceausescu
Short-Fingered Vulgarian
Agent Orange
Fuckface von Clownstick
Disaster Tourist in Chief
Ferret-Heedit Cheeto-Faced Shit-gibbon
The Mango Mussolini
Cheetolini
Making fun of Trumps hair is treason.
.
Point of order: Given that there is apparently very little of the hair, would that make it light treason? As opposed to the full-strength version?
Petty (petit) treason.
Probably some hair weave in there.
Augmented treason.
AG
P.S. There are a lot of blonde Syrians. Could that maybe be why he’s pursuing his war course in Syria? Good hair?
Ahhhh…on second thought, no. He has enough blonde whores surrounding him to pick and choose hair donations, Plus…y’never know. Maybe them Assad peopl’d send him poison hair!!! I mean…that’s why he eats fast food, right? He’s afraid of being poisoned so he eats fast foods to build enough poison inside to make him immune?
Nevermind.
Yore friend…
Emily Litella
Well, he has to attract attention to what’s on his head because there is nothing in his head.
The construction of Trump’s hair is fascinating like an Escher picture. Which is to say, How does he do that?
Baldilocks!
It is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma
I find it appropriate that a quote about Russia be applied to Trump.
I think I would have been all over this in the Bush years but I can’t bring myself to care. Mock away though, nothing against others doing so.
Now all eyes will be on anyone standing behind the donald to see if they can take their eyes off the back of his head. The looks on their faces will bring me so much joy.
The hair has been important since the late ‘eighties because it displays his particular blindness to the ineffectuality and tackiness of his own braggadocio and self image.
I vividly remember when Trump Tower was first constructed (out of cheap concrete, by illegally employed Polish laborers — I was working at an architectural firm down the street at the time and my older co-workers sneered at Trump’s shoddy techniques and ugly constructions) and even then it was vividly clear exactly what the man was all about: a contemptible outer-borough trust-fund baby with disastrous taste, no sense of humor or self-awareness, and a need for attention that would have been pathetic had he not the means to construct gaudy gold-plated towers with his name on them and just generally get in our faces.
Trump was roundly hated throughout all levels of New York, from then until now, in an uninterrupted flow of contempt, and his stupid haircut, like his sunlamp-tan and boxy suits and gaudy women, was the main signifier of his profound lack of self-awareness. It makes perfect sense to all of us here in the city that he finally had to go out to the sticks to find crowds of people who would believe his ludicrous story of being a “successful New Yorker” simply because, through no fault of their own, they don’t know any better than to accept his preposterous Falcon Crest/Dallas imposture.
What’s specifically notable is that this is obviously not the first time a wealthy man has suffered from male pattern baldness and done something about it — which, for decades, has meant not just hairpieces or toupees (as in the cases of actors like Sean Connery, from the very beginning of his Bond career, or Alec Guinness in Star Wars) but more sophisticated surgical techniques — and yet I can’t think of anyone else for whom the final result is so laughably ridiculous.
I mean, people have made fun of William Shatner’s fake hair, or transplants, or whatever it is, for example, but Trump is in an entirely different league. It’s such an interesting example of his overall character traits — the combination of ineptitude, vanity and obliviousness is so telling.