Image Credits: Brendan Skwire.
One of the worst aspects of the Trump Era has proven to be the ongoing acts of performative stupidity by right wingers, in order to “own the libs.” I wrote a little bit about this last week, taking specific note of Breitbart writer John Nolte’s ridiculous theory that “the organized left is doing everything in its power to convince Trump supporters NOT to get the life-saving Trump vaccine…by using reverse psychology to trick Trump supporters.” This is because of Cleek’s Law, although Nolte doesn’t use the term: what it boils down to is that if liberals say “up,” conservatives reflexively say “down,” even if they know they’re wrong. So, you see, if the Democrats want people to take the vaccine, the only option available to the right is to refuse—you know, kind of like a two-year old. It’s little more than a clever plot by Democrats to kill Republicans by leveraging their idiocy rank tribalism.
Refusing to get vaccinated against Covid-19 is the most obvious form of this performative stupidity. Prevention is for pussies, after all—so conservatives and anti-vaxxers are willing to try anything to rid themselves of Covid once they inevitably get infected. Instead of a free and FDA-approved vaccine, they take horse dewormer and hydroxychloroquine. They inhale hydrogen peroxide, or take vitamin C and zinc. Many rely on an army of prayer warriors, which has to be the worst army in the world because they never seem to win. Of course, when you’re fighting God’s will—whenever one of these poor, deluded fools dies, that’s how their families explain it, there’s never any reflecting on what THEY could have done differently—the deck is stacked, what with the omnipotence and all.
Today, I offer two highly entertaining—or incredibly sad, depending on your perspective—items in the ongoing Saga of Stupid.
Item! You’ll be delighted to learn that the Deniers have discovered a NEW quack cure for the deadly virus: urine therapy. Apparently it’s a real thing, as gross as it sounds. As a friend of mine quipped, “I guess we’re rapidly approaching real life ‘eat shit and die’ levels of insanity,” which sounds funny until you consider that some moron in Trumplandia will almost certainly suggest it, and then they’ll all sit there with actual shit-eating grins on their faces, insisting through persistent wheezing and a hacking cough that if they only ingest enough of their own waste products they’ll never end up on the vent. Speaking for myself, I have never felt so owned in my life. You should also feel owned as well—which is far worse than your breath smelling like peepee, right? Can I get an “Amen?”
Item! Bloviating right-wing radio host with backpfeifengesicht syndrome Dennis Prager claims he deliberately went around hugging people in a deliberate effort to catch Covid-19.
“I have engaged with strangers, constantly hugging them, taking photos with them knowing that I was making myself very susceptible to getting covid,” he said. “Which is — indeed, as bizarre as it sounded — what I wanted, in the hope I would achieve natural immunity and be taken care of by therapeutics.”
Contradicting studies and recommendations from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Prager told his audience that natural immunity was more effective than getting the vaccine, saying a covid infection was “what I hoped for the entire time.” The CDC recommends that people get vaccinated even after contracting the virus — officials point to an August study that showed unvaccinated people who already had covid were twice as likely to be reinfected as those who had been fully vaccinated after contracting the virus.
It’s a well-known alternative fact that the CDC is an agent of the Deep State, and thus a bunch of libs who must be owned, so it’s not surprising that Prager is making this claim whether it’s true or not. As the Post notes,
Prager is one of several conservative radio show hosts to spread misinformation about the coronavirus and vaccines, including some who later died of the virus.
In the past three months, at least five right-wing radio show hosts, all of whom discouraged their listeners from getting the vaccine, have died of covid-19. The most recent was Bob Enyart, 62, who in the weeks leading to his infection told listeners to boycott the shots while pushing the debunked claim that the coronavirus vaccines are made from aborted fetus cells.
It would be churlish (if understandable) to wish death on the elderly and out-of-shape Mr. Prager, even though his lies have probably put several of his listeners in the hospital and may have even killed a few. It’s not like he cares about anyone but himself, including his fellow MAGA clowns. In fact, just a few days before Prager came up positive, he’d been out doing appearances with Colorado Republican gubernatorial candidate Heidi Ganahl, whose campaign told the local NBC affiliate that they didn’t know anything about Prager’s plan to get infected with Covid, and were now “reaching out to all those who attended to make sure they are informed,” and encouraging them to get tested.
So I wish Mr. Prager luck with his (supposed) self-inflicted battle with coronavirus. If all else fails, Dennis—after you’ve shoved a UV light up your ass or choked down a megadose of horse dewormer—why not try a nice glass of fresh, warm piss?
At the very least, you’ll be owning the libs yet again.
