With Zucker Gone, Can CNN Suck Less?

I don’t know anybody who gives a shit about Jeff Zucker. If he’s responsible for the steaming hot pile of garbage called “CNN” then I guess I don’t like the guy. He’s been very bad at his job. His network is unwatchable. The talent he’s assembled is unlikeable and I want to punch most of them in the face.

The people at Fox News are very excited that President Zucker has lost his job. They’re trying to get CNN’s media correspondent Brian Stelter fired too because they claim he should have known and reported that his boss was boinking the network’s chief marketing officer. Affairs between top executives are now a no-no unless they divulge some details.

But Zucker could have been fired for a bunch of reasons beyond his hanky-panky, like the way the ratings for the network have plummeted over the last year or his handling of the whole Chris Cuomo fiasco. In any case, liberals are dunking on Zucker because he created Trump by giving him The Apprentice show at NBC and then, in 2016, turned CNN into Trump’s personal soundstage by airing his unhinged speeches in full.

I mean, that’s fair, I guess, but the American people didn’t have to buy what Trump was selling. I just can’t get worked up about Zucker. How could I match the mainstream reaction to his resignation?

In my home, the demise of Zucker doesn’t have a cataclysmic blast radius. It’s more like the sound of one soap bubble popping in the kitchen sink. We don’t care, and I doubt you should either. Only good things can happen now, right? Like, CNN will suck less? No?