Want to Laugh At Mike Lindell Until Your Guts Split?

I wrote about Mike Lindell’s failed tweaker coup on January 17, 2021, but I have otherwise mostly ignored the Pillow Guy. I never commented on his “Prove Mike Wrong” campaign from August 2021 where he offered $5 million to anyone who could prove he was completely full of shit in claiming he had proof that China fixed the 2020 election for Joe Biden and Kamala Harris.

Specifically, he offered $5 million to anyone who could prove that the data he presented at a “cyber symposium” in South Dakota was not from the 2020 election. A Trump-supporting citizen from Nevada decided to take him up on that proposition. Robert Zeidman, 63, is a computer forensics expert, so he had the requisite expertise. But when he tried to claim his prize, Lindell refused to pay up.  The dispute went to arbitration. It didn’t go well for Lindell.

Zeidman had examined Lindell’s data and concluded that it not only did not prove voter fraud, it had no connection to the 2020 election. He was the only expert who submitted a claim, arbitration records show…

…In their 23-page decision, the arbitrators said Zeidman proved that Lindell’s material “unequivocally did not reflect November 2020 election data.” They directed Lindell’s firm to pay Zeidman within 30 days.

I find this all side-splittingly hilarious.

Zeidman’s attorney Brian Glasser said that the panel’s decision stood as a warning to others who made wild allegations about election fraud. “I think the arbitrators thought it important that these claims be vetted, because they’ve done great harm to our country,” he said.

I just wish a couple million Americans had made submissions because, as it stands, Lindell is only out $5 million. Of course, he says this is a horribly unfair and he will appeal, but there is no appeal from this arbitration decision.

A copy of contest rules submitted in the arbitration said disputes would be “resolved exclusively by final and binding arbitration” and noted that arbitration “is subject to very limited review by courts.”

Glasser said that the panel’s decision cannot be directly appealed but that Lindell could ask a federal court to quash it on the basis that it represented a “manifest injustice.” The statutory grounds for such a claim are narrow and it is “extremely rare” for such a claim to succeed, according to Glasser.

It’s impossible to see how it’s a manifest injustice for Lindell to honor the terms of his contest.

In an amusing aside, Lindell was furious when Fox News refused to run promotions for his August 2021 “cyber symposium” and angrily pulled all his pillow advertisements off the network. A year later, however, he was running up to 700 MyPillow ads on Fox News per month, making him according to the New York Times, the “largest single advertiser on Fox News’s right-wing opinion prime-time lineup.”

How poetic then, that Dominion Voting Systems just won a $787.5 million settlement against Fox News for defamation?

Next up is Lindell, and he’ll have to defend himself against a “$1.3 billion defamation suit from Dominion and a defamation lawsuit from one of Dominion’s former executives.” He probably can’t afford to settle, and his prospect of winning are not good. So, if actually want a MyPillow, I suggest you snatch one up soon because I think this motherfucker is going out of business.