I am getting a late start this year but now the time has finally arrived for me to make my Christmas list. I have been a very good girl, except for some minor exceptions, and I hope that Santa will take notice and reward me in good measure.
1. First of all, I would like a new scandal to rock the republican party because I don’t think all of America is paying attention yet.
- I would like a Democrat with balls to announce a candidacy for POTUS. This does not exclude women, but he/she must exuberantly stand up for basic Democratic principles and speak truth to power without any bullshit and without fear. I think the country is ready for that.
- I want Arnie Vinick to win the presidency on The West Wing, simply because Alan Alda is infinitely more likeable than Jimmy Smits, if a tad past his sexy prime.
- I want Chris Matthews to shut up and let his guests answer the question. I want Rita Cosby to get a voice transplant. I want the FCC to force Fox News to change it’s name to GOP News.
- I want Arrested Development back. And Scrubs. And I want the networks to quit showing reruns every other week. I want Kelly Ripa to gain 20 lbs. I never want to see Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan ever again. Ever. And Anna Nicole Smith.
- I want God to issue an official statement, perhaps simultaneously on every radio and television station, publicly denouncing Jerry Falwell, James Dobson, Pat Robertson and the entire “Left Behind” series. I want him to tell fundamentalists everywhere to stop speaking for him and giving him a bad name.
- I want new lungs for my mother to replace her old ones with their 60-year buildup of tar.
- I want the Muscular Dystrophy Association to announce a cure and give my nephew a last-minute reprieve. His mother deserves that.
- I want menacing drivers who tailgate at 70mph to be arrested and charged with attempted murder.
- I want there to be a law in all movie theaters outlawing perfume. And while they’re at it, stop charging $3.50 for a coke. And stop annoying me with 25 minutes of commercials when I have paid $7.50 to avoid them. And turn down the damn volume!
- I want a pill to give me energy. And one to make me lose weight. And one to give me back the body I had pre-children.
- I want to finally figure out what I want to be when I grow up.
- I want to learn to want what I have. I want to stop feeling so damn discontented all the time. I want to stop being afraid to fly.
Santa is in the building (or the Hanukkah….fairy?)….tell me what you want this year, and why you have or have not been good.
Alright boys and girls! Who’s been good and who’s been naughty? And who’s been deliciously naughty?
I’ve been very bad, but I am so very good at it that I’ve been good. And the person attempting to teach me some concept of logic should love that.
I want one thing. . .I want a lightening like shift of consciousness that causes EVERYONE to long for peace, peace at any cost, PEACE for everyone. And are willing to work their butts of to make it happen.
I would also take one more gift, that everyone not only learn how but put into action the concept of loving everyone here regardless of how differently they may seem to look or act or sound.
. . .and maybe a dozen really good tangerines
Great list and me too.
I had four really good tangerines today, Shirl. Okay, they were tiny or I would have only eaten 2. We get those boxes of Clementines this time of year and the kids and I polish them off in 2 or 3 days.
Amen on the bitching and moaning which should be punishable by being pecked unmercifully by ducks.
Perfect! I am coveting your 4 tiny tangerines. . .is that bad? Nah. . . .couldn’t be.
Great wish list Second. Looks almost identical to mine. I want the troops home too.
I want to be able to lose ten pounds in a week the way I could when I was in my youth.
I want for all of us to find common ground and stop fighting with each other.
I want to be able to restrain myself from responding when my gut tells me I shouldn’t.
Merry Everything!
Amen, alohaleezy.
great list, SN. My additions:
That’s not so much to wish for, is it? May the Flying Spaghetti Monster atop his gilded box of Ramen grant my wishes!
Good list Manee! I thought of another terrible Christmas decoration that you as a dog owner are probably aware. You know when they chow down on tinsel and then the next day…well, you know.
I have to say, my compadre is good about staying away from things that insist on..ahem…making a comeback. No encore presentations in my house! (no tinsel either, tho)
yeah, we don’t do tinsel here either. But I remember back in the ugly 80’s our cat would yack up these really colorful hairballs.
Hey, I don’t want much…
That’s a great idea about Aaron Brown, only I think Rita Cosby should be a behind the scenes kind of gal. Her voice is like nails on a chalkboard to me.
LMAOROTF Cali. Of course you can be matron of honor but it will be at Susan’s wedding to Keith not mine. Been there done that. Now I would be willing to live in sin with the mna…lol! Guess I been naughty!
Peace
My list for the holidays…
Yesterday I went to a luncheon for an organization that helps children locally – 350 children that had been sexually abused in 8 years – and that’s the ones they know about…in one of the wealthiest counties in the nation…please let it end.
So mote it be.
I want all the good people to get what they need and all the evil ones to get what they deserve.
And if we can get that all worked out, for an encore, I’ll take being just the right height so that I don’t have to ever buy petites again and all the slacks I buy will be the right length.
peace on earth, goodwill towards all
or…
a new computer and big ass, flat panel monitor.
My list is short.
So many good lists…so I’ll make mine simple.
I want the idea/concept whatever of prejudice to be banished from every living persons memory…and all the ones who follow.
And I’d love to see BostonJoe’s book become the sleeper mega hit of the coming year.
May all your Christmas dreams come true. The only NSF I’m familiar with is the big red NSF they stamp on my checks when I bounce them. Hey, I’ve been monetarily challenged at times in my life.
National Science Foundation, whose grants pay for much of the research in science education. The first time I saw a sign about the other kind of NSF checks, saying they’d be cause for a fines, I was very confused.
I want a responsive and responsible government and a child that listens to me without having to say something 47 times.
You will sooner get the responsible government than the child who listens to you the first 46 times you say something. Just my experience as the mother four.
as a recalcitrant child of extraordinary ability, I can attest that we heard every word you said — and then we ignored them.
Proving that the operative word is “listens” rather than “hears”. There were times I was convinced that to them I sounded like the never-seen teacher or mother on Charlie Brown; “mwaa mwa mwa mwaaa”
nah, you’re still haven’t got it — we listened, we understood, and we did whatever we wanted anyway. (This is the secret for letting your mother make you feel guilty while still annoying the hell out of her.)