I posted a remedy for sinus headache last night (see below) and it occurred to me that because so many posters here are ladies, some who are always right, that it is quite possible that many of them also have home remedies, and a diary on the subject would have interesting google blowback.
So I will start, with these home remedies. Please add your favorites, or feel free to tell me that mine do not work, and I will graciously explain what you did wrong. Here are some of my favorite home remedies:
Burns
Take a tomato, cut off a piece, and tie it to the burn, cut side down. Leave it there.
Bleeding
Put a spider web on the place that is bleeding
Sinus Headaches
Take some dry powdered ginger, make a paste with water. Smear it all over your forehead. When it dries and starts to flake off, hold your head over the sink and rub gently till it comes off, then smear more ginger paste.
High Blood Pressure
Eat a green papaya
Hiccuping Baby
Take a magic marker, lipstick or kumkum paste and make a red mark on the baby’s forehead.
Depression
Watch The Beverly Hillbillies
Lethargy
Play the overture of Nabucco
Earache
Have someone blow tobacco smoke into the affected ear.
Nausea
Smell dirt.
Do we still get google ads? I don’t see any down there…
Anywhoo — home remedies, eh? Lessee…hrm. Um. Why can’t I think of any? I know I often do all sorts of odd stuff rather than go visit a germy doctor’s office…oh, here’s one that HURTS, but it works:
For sinus/earaches/sutffy nose type ailments that come from allergies: breathe steam for about 5 minutes, then take a solution of warm water (boil it and then let it cool off) disolve a pinch of salt in (any kind will do, but don’t put in too much)– inhale it into each nostril until you feel it in your throat (using a syringe of some kind helps, but if you don’t have one, a straw will do, just be sure to cover the other nostril). Spit out water (gargling before spitting is recomended as well, but it may catch you by suprise the first time). Repeat on other nostril. Breathe steam again for 5 minutes and repeat. If you do this once or twice a day for a few days, you’ll feel much better!
😉
btw, ductape, you have been absolutely cracking me up all over the place today — just thought you should know, and laughter, now that I think of it, is the best remedy EVER! THANKS!
Me too brinn and I haven’t been able to post much today as I’ve been a bit bloodied up from that Relaxing Sword Dance I participated in last night in the Cafe.
migraine put feet in a tub of the hottest water you can stand, and put an ice pack on your forehead or back of your neck at the same time.
hiccuping think of seven bald men.
depression exercise, exercise, exercise. Smell a baby’s head.
from tweeked, twisted, or bruised muscles and joints, as soon as possible:
I bruise and swell really easily, so I’ve had lots of practice at this. The alternative is to have an ankle the size of a cantalope for days and days.
Arnica (mountain daisy) is a herbal remedy that works well, as both a cream and a tablet, but the above is something that everybody can do without having to have a herbal pharmacopia at hand.
Sip some ginger ale.
Always seems to work for me, though I probably do it because Mom & Dad said so–and it stuck.
as long as it’s “real” ginger ale, and not artificially flavored. Ginger tea works as well, and nibbling on crystallized ginger works best of all.
Sometimes Mom and Dad do know best. 😉
That’s the funny thing–I’m sure Canada Dry is artificially flavored, but it always did the trick for me. It’s even funnier because I was allergic to ginger when I was younger–I ate some ginger snaps and apparently (I don’t remember this, but my parents sure do) broke out horribly.
It’s probably more “mental” than anything else. Which works for me.
Think I’ll try the ginger tea–but if I break out into hives, I’m calling you…!!
:<)
Oh gosh Ductape… I can’t really say which of yours won’t work, as I’ve not tried well… any of them.
The magic marker on the baby’s forehead sounds interesting tho, and fairly simple. I might try that one. Except I don’t have a baby… but plenty of people do! I’ll just try on one of theirs.
I’ll let everyone know where to post the bail money.
I’ve heard of the cobwebs for bleeding.. but not the tomato. Would seem like the acid would aggravate the burn? ‘Course, one might not notice, if you were watching the Beverly Hillbillies and going into a depression at the same time.
As for other remedies… For sinus/chest congestion, cut up half an onion into a bowl, add a tablespoon of honey and a lil (maybe a teaspoon) of water – cover and let sit for an our or so until a juice is formed… then take a spoonful of the juice every hour or so.
Apple cider vinegar for athletes foot
celery for high blood pressure
castor oil for arthritic joints (like knees). This one is actually highlighted by the doctor who has a column in my local paper (probably in others too). Says he’s not sure why it works for some people, but it does.
Castor oil seems to be good for lots of stuff, in fact. Tastes nasty, tho.
Though obviously the custom has spread in modern times, it is believed to have originated in the north of Asia, and you can still see mothers in Tibet and Mongolia doing it today.
And in Meso-America, their sisters do the same thing when the baby hiccups.
This is actually cited in some circles as evidence of the migration across the Bering Straits by people who became the indigenous people of the Americas.
I’m close with a holistic physician with 40 years experience who will treat everything from menstrual cramps to chronic autoimmune disease with castor oil compress-type dealies. She swears by it, and I take her seriously because her whole career she’s been operating about 15+ years ahead of the curve. Doesn’t really work for me but other people rave about it. Fwiw.
AKA the Seer of Virginia Beach, who died in 1945, recommended castor oil packs for a wide variety of ills.
In this case, I’d call your physician a traditionalist! 🙂
I forgot one that works like a charm.
bleeding from simple cut – pour some black pepper on cut. Sounds like it would hurt but it doesn’t, and it makes the blood clot right away.
I’ll never eat pepper steak again.
I’m totally adding black pepper to my first-aid kit! I’m imagining now taking a few of those little packets from the next fast food place I’m at and keeping them in the glove box. I’ve always liked those pepper packets, but left them alone because I hate pepper.
Whatever the problem—add chocolate and more chocolate until you’re all better. When you’re all better continue with this remedy as it will ward off cavities(actually that happens to be true…according to a study chocolate is better for your teeth than eating other candy as chocolate being soft is washed away from your teeth whereas hard candy or chewy candy will stick to teeth-hence causing more problems than chocolate).
Of course the real magnificence of the remedy is the fact that it can be taken outside the house and used anywhere at anytime.
Oh yeah, how do I know the chocolate works-well as someone who has tried all the remedies purported to work by Duck(aka Mr.N) I can say Nada to them sometimes with not so pretty consequences-who knew smelling dirt wouldn’t work. Then again maybe it was the combination of several remedies at once that was counterproductive. While kissing the ground and smelling that dirty dirt I was trying to eat that lovely green papaya while also trying to wrap some cobwebs around my nose to stop the bleeding..as I said not exactly a pretty sight apparently…which may also be why some neighbors(well ex-neighbors now) saw fit to call the cops because they thought some crazed women seemed to be pawing at the ground with her nose and seemed to be covered with blood and some wispy stuff about her head while oddly eating something green-in another neighbors front yard…but it all turned out for the best and my analyst says I’m doing fine-really.
has now been officially debunked. Next time you do that, keep a hand free so you can decorate any hiccuping babies that happen to pass by.
And Science agrees with you about chocolate. Even for people who have caught the Shugga Die Bead Ease small amounts of dark chocolate, the real kind that comes from Switzerland (or South America and sweeten it yourself) is said to be beneficial.
Well really my hands were quite full with the cobwebs, a bit slippery also with that dripping blood and that green papaya…so I was trying to practice using a highlighter between toes to mark the foreheads of those annoying hiccuping babies-you know maybe that’s what really set the neighbors off..that neon pink pen sticking out from my toes…do ya think? Or maybe they just really hate pink. You know multi-tasking just doesn’t seem to work for everyone, again this is according to my analyst. (actually my ex-analyst as he seems to have been transferred to Tasmania -at least that’s what I was informed of in a note that was slid under my only slightly padded room yesterday).
You used pink.
You have to use red.
Red?…due to the holiday/xmas/whatever season you mean or is red to be used all the time?..Couldn’t I color coordinate for the seasons/holidays…when I get the urge to use the pen between toes out on my front lawn during Easter say will I have to use yellow or lavender? I suppose you can’t go wrong with neon orange marker of course around halloween(then again at Halloween I may forgo the neon toe writing on hiccuping babies-I have bigger kids, I mean fish to fry so to speak. I’ll be whipping a witches brew home remedy that wards off cutesy-poo kiddies who come hollering at my door expecting candy). This of course is all contingent upon when my new(well my new new analyst-don’t ask) analyst sees fit to release me.
Sorry, gotta run…have decided to make up a chart of color-coordinated seasonal toe pens. Must say though it’s a bit hard making up those charts in my head as I’m not allowed sharp objects yet.
or when on which calendar one marks the advent of one’s Shopping Season.
It has to be red because that is the color that will dispatch the infant hiccup spirit.
Sure now ya tell me after I spent hours/hours making up that Toe Chart-in my head. Although it is good to know once I am out of here. Those hordes of hiccuping babies roaming past my house are really enough to drive a person crazy-oh wait-my analyst(that would be the new, new new analyst)suggested I not use the word crazy. I must say though that the cacophony of the hiccuping was really getting a bit much. Didn’t quite understand why all the parents seemed so upset when I suggested when they passed by my house the least they could do was to put plastic bags over the kiddies heads to smother that hiccuping sound. Honestly some people just have no sense of neighborlyness whatsoever.
You are asking your neighbors to ruin perfectly good plastic bags with baby-spit. And in a time of economic uncertainty. Try to be more considerate.
Thank you for pointing out my inconsiderate ways, how unthoughtful of me. I’ve hit upon an idea I believe will suffice and be considerate of my neighbors economic straights also. I will suggest that at no cost to them if they simply use their hands to smother the faces of their little precious ones for several minutes as they sashay by my home then we have come to a truly diplomatic solution.
Alas I fear any continued conversation here will throw us so far to the right that some may be tempted to call us righties and that would of course be very wrong, isn’t that right?
By the way my new, new, new ah new analyst thought your suggestion concerning the plastic bags most thoughtful. He does however seem a bit concerned as to how I am conversing with you from my only slightly padded cell-ah room. This put in a highly indignant dither and I immediately offered to show him a picture of you-oh wait I don’t have one-he seemed to find that highly suspicious once again. I finally had to tell him that my friend-DuctapeFatwa-where upon he ran screaming from the room shouting something about a War on Ducks-quite perplexing. I’ve since learned he has been sent also to Tasmania.
This might be a bit off topic, but I need to ask you Chocolate Ink if you’ve ever read any of the Harry Potter series.
In the third book the author introduces the “Dementors” who are scarry creatures who slowly suck out your soul if you spend too much time around them. Well, Harry and Ron are exposed to Dementors and are taken to the infirmary. And do you know what their “medicine” is?! They have to eat loads of chocolate. What a wonderful imagination Rowlings has.
Oh absolutely have read them all and my sister has bought all the books for me-well for us but they seem to all ended up at my house.
Had forgotten that fact though about having to eat the chocolate as a cure-don’t know how but I did.
Dementors is also another name for Republicans by the way.(and maybe ex-husbands)
OT Ductape. I managed to work you into a media interview today. And the reporter laughed her head off at hearing your name. Question was on the absurdity of the “War on Terror” as it relates to my book. Not easy to work “Ductape Fatwa” into the answer and get a laugh — but I pulled it off.
Although if he googles me he will discover that I am guilty of Neglected Blog Syndrome. It still has Indigenous Day of Mourning on it.
Maybe this great honor you have done me will shame me into writing something. 😉
Holy crap! You’ve got your own blog. I had no idea. I told you I was provincial. I’ve got the pond and occasional hops to Kos. Congrats on your own blog. Hope it goes gangbusters for you. I would leave and visit often if I wasn’t such a lazy bastard. “Man I can’t lift that clicking finger again. Not tonight.”
Hope you will still post here all the time. I honestly wouldn’t smile nearly as much as I do if I didn’t get to read your quips.
Okay. Enough blogging after midnight. Gushing crap and all. Off to do more publicity work. (Hating capitalism — loving capitalism).
High blood pressure, especially due to anger, e.g not chronic: Perform a vital function. In my otherwise not at all softy family, this was sitting with a purring/sleeping cat on your lap. Petting same. Guaranteed to lower blood pressure as long as the beast honors you with its presence.
Minor burn, sunburn: Break off a piece of your aloe – you do have one, don’t you? And rub the juice over the burn.
Puffy, swollen, irritated eyes: Take two used tea bags, chill in refrigerator. Place over eyes while lying down, for 15 – 30 minutes. Think good thoughts. Swelling will go down, eyes less red.
Insect stings and bites: Make paste of baking soda and a little water. Place wet stuff on bite, let dry. Neutralizes stinging and itching. If lots of bites, e.g. mosquitoes, put generous handful of baking soda into warm, not hot bathwater, and take soothing leisurely bath.
Gather ’round while I share with you the auld secrets passed to me by my Scottish grandmother. Secrets passed down to her from her mother and her grandmother before her.
For cold, flu, and fever: Whisky, hot water, honey. Do not skimp on the whisky. You’ll be feeling better in no time.
Toothache: Rub whisky on the gums
Sore throat: A spoonful of sugar and whisky.
Everything else: Straight whisky.
Also can be used as both an anesthetic and a disinfectant.
To add to the family trove, I’ll share a couple of more serious offerings.
If you have weak lungs or are prone to bronchitis, keep a bag of cheap balloons on hand. At the first sign of sickness, start a regimen of blowing up two balloons twice a day. It’ll keep it from settling in the lungs.
If your lungs are weaker than that, if you’ve had, say, tb or something, learn to play the flute.
If you need antibiotics and can’t afford the doctor, you can buy them in fish/aquarium stores.
So that’s my advice. Always keep a first-aid kit of whisky, balloons, and fish-antibiotics. It’s the only reason I’m still here!
Izzy, thanks for the link.
Here a scientifically proven remedy with only beneficial and enlightening side-effects, good for sinus problems and I would add also weak lungs: Sinusitis Survival
Oh, and it really works!
I work with my hands and cut my skin probably 10 times a week on sharp metal or paper.
Superglue is the answer. It’s used medically for all sorts of repairs, even my dentist said it’s used for some kinds of tooth repair.
Put a drop into the cut, then slide the cut skin across a surface in the direction that holds the cut together but by moving, won’t let it bond to the surface. Count to 10, stop, and the cut is sealed.
If you’re careful and keep it dry when washing, it may heal straightaway without ever reopening.
Are you sure?!? Not that I don’t trust you, it just seems… not quite right. Or maybe it’s just me. I had a bad experience as a youth during a short-lived stint in manicuring school (don’t ask) and I glued my thumb to my friend’s dining room table.
I havent heard of this use of superglue before. However, here the pharmacies sell a liquid band-aid that works in the same way. I used it in India to keep the dirt our of wounds. However, as I do not know what superglue consists off, I would be careful, though in a emergency, if nothing else is available, I would probably risk it.
It’s a good idea — it works just as Gooserock says.
You don’t want someone clumsy doing it — they might squirt it in your eye instead.
I do not have any remedy to offer, but would like to seek your expert advice with regards to lutefisk.
Diners relishing this strange dish must have some kind of motivation (beside food-masochism). Does lutefisk have healing qualities? Could that explain it?
Lutefisk splits US families.
unwanted guests. If you are suffering from this affliction and are unable to obtain any lutefisk, boil some cabbage. Or chitlins.
You forgot haggis.
Here in Mexico, we use lime juice for everything wrong with us. My favorite, however is rubbing lime juice, or half the lime on insect bites or any kind of itchies.