Tuesday’s FBC II had a brief discussion of female issues and of course books came up! This discussion is focused on the perceptions that are perpetrated based on aging women and “female issues”. I was going to post this as a comment in FBC – then my fingers and the keyboard got away from me!
Disclaimer: I am not a doctor or nurse, I have no medical training, or any other background except being a woman. I take no prescription medications and prefer holistic / alternative medicines. I do take alternative herbals supplements – after discussing them with my traditional AMA M.D. and Nurse Practitioner…both are women.
Men please consider the topics and discussions here. There are so many stereotypes about ‘female issues’ that the more we share here the more you may understand your partner.
How I got here: About 10+ years ago I had horrid mood swings, was exhausted, tried to decide if I needed therapy for depression, and had irregular cycles that wouldn’t stop. I was 39 years old. I went to my traditional, male Ob-Gyn and he said take this prescription for the cycles and don’t worry, you are fine. The Nurse Practitioner was older and took me aside and recommended that I read about peri-menopause. She told me to buy the book “The Pause”.
I went to the store, bought the book, and changed my life – literally. Information is important to all of us and it made me look at what I was eating, drinking, and how I was spending my life. My husband read the book and found a new understanding for the changes that were happening and became more supportive. He also learned to help me watch my food intake, tease me about my very red ears when I get hot flashes, and doesn’t get upset when I burst into tears for absolutely no reason.
Over the last 10 years I’ve read dozens of websites, had long discussions with other women my age and older. Some of those women were on estrogen replacement therapy, some like me were on alternative treatments, and others were cold turkey for symptoms. My mother’s generation didn’t talk about `female issues’. My generation of women – hell we talk about everything – look at the number of women on the blogs!
Consider this your kitchen table and pot of tea for sharing anecdotal information and recommendations. If we have any doctors, nurses, or others here, please jump in and help with inaccuracies.
So here’s my recommended reading list – all from Powells.com today.
The Pause, Lonnie Barbach
The Wisdom of Menopause, Christine Northrup, M.D.
New Menopausal Years, Susun S. Weed
I’ve read these three books repeatedly and finally gave away my copy of “The Pause” to a friend.
My personal favorite after 10+ years is “New Menopausal Years”. Susun gives alternatives – do nothing, traditional, and alternative treatments. She also talks about diet and nutrition. Any book that says dark chocolate and potatoes will alleviate symptoms is good by me!
New Menopausal Years also talks about pregnancy and post-menopausal body and emotional changes.
Thanks for stopping by for the tea!
I’ve had some especially weird symptoms lately. I talked to my doctor about it and she said that it was probably because of my weight loss.
That estrogen is stored in fat cells with fat and as I’ve lost weight, the estrogen has been released. Making things weird again, in a different weird way.
She says that it will keep happening as long as I continue losing weight.
Can you tell me if any of these books are based on research? I have a scientific brain, and I want some empirical facts!
Thanks for the diary!
I know that The Pause is based on research although I’m not sure how much is included in the details. The end notes are really good in them for sources, and there are lots of end notes in the Susun Weed book. Since I’m at work can’t check…but pretty sure that Dr. Northrup’s book had research info (IIRC).
Info is key – I googled menopause and peri-menopause for months and read tons of stuff online before committing myself to a course of action.
Google recommendation: peri-menopause, research
http://www.menopause.org
Lots of other info came up when I googled today
Thanks for posting this. I don’t have that much to share — somehow I seem to be escaping hot-flashes. My doctor didn’t think it was that unusual.
In talking to other women our experience is that hot flashes are diet or stress induced. These are distinct from night sweats – which I missed so I don’t know about those.
Too much caffeine, tannins in red wine, spicy foods – like cayenne, and bell peppers are key culprits. I can’t wait until I can have stuffed peppers and a nice cabernet again!
Well, that would at least partially explain it then. I have one cup of coffee in the morning and except for the rare times we have stuffed green pepper, none of the other foods.
Ok, I had half a glass of wine last week. But with the Diabetes, I really have to watch that.
That is a consideration in our house – my husband is pre-Type II and had to lose 25+ pounds. I’m on the same diet but it we followed the Weed book on diet information.
In the several sections of the Susun Weed book she talks about diets. Her recommendation is monounsaturated fats and fish, only olive oil, and eat more eggs and natural nuts for protein and fats.
I went and check where Susan Weed discusses fat cells converting ‘androstenedione’ that has a direct impact on estrone, the primary postmenopausal estrogen. Maybe your doctor can work with that…or check the web.
I put holds on those books, I’ll photocopy pages for my next appointment (In January)
The worst symptom I suffered was sleep problems. I’ve never been a good sleeper but from about 48 to 53, I don’t think I slept for more than an hour or two at time and then I would have difficulties going back to sleep. I had some hot flashes but they were always of a very short duration and mostly at night. Never had any of the mood swings problems. For the last two years, sleeping has mostly returned to normal — I’ve gone back to being a light sleeper who doesn’t sleep more than about 6 hours a night. I still have the occasional night sweats. My mother says she had an easy time as well so there might be a genetics entering into it.
Best of all is that I haven’t suffered any of the loss of interest in sex that is supposed to come with menopause. Interestingly there was a study recently that suggested that the loss of interest in sex suffered by menopausal women might not be physical but a result of having poor body image.
Absolutely a body image issue!
With all the focus on young women we are taught to not like our bodies as we age. All the women I know have a better sex life in their late 40’s and after than when they were younger. Why? Kids are grown, more secure in their self worth and image, more comfortable in what they like and want from a partner. BTW this is true for lesbian couples even more so than straight couples. They are so much more open in conversation that some of the rest of us.
AND our partners are happy campers as they move into their 50’s and 60’s as well.! As they struggle with their own issues of body image and aging, what better reassurance than a sexually confident woman of the same age!
Again referring back to the books and websites…use it or lose it is true. If the body is in used to producing a physical response to desire on a regular basis it will continue to do so as we age. There are some real smart mouth comments in Susan’s book – irreverent and earthy and real.
I never cared about my body image once I was past my teen years. As long as I was healthy, I was fine and so it doesn’t bother me that much that I’m showing my age. (Feeling my age is another matter.)
im not sure about our partners being happy campers (speaking of my male partners)
ive been pre menopausal for 10 years (im 44 now)…5 years ago i gave up on my husband sexually although i continue to be married to him….my partners are getting younger…older men have too many issues….its just rare to find one who has the stamina to keep up with me…granted ive got lots of pinch hitters all day to choose from but when i get home to the boyfriend im still wound up and ready to go for a few rounds….and by the end of the weekend he is exhausted…he is totally freaked out about performance issues and feels a lot of pressure to keep up or he suspects he will be replaced….i’ve been dating a few others (always looking for more fresh meat) and although i enjoy an older man for the conversation, it just falls apart if he cant keep up with me in bed…. i do workshops on overcoming sexual dysfunction so i have lots and lots of skills and tricks to help my partners but sometimes i just get all wormy and go thru a spell of trolling for the boys who are still stud horses and whom i dont have to fix and cajole and encourage etc….my girlfriends feel the same way….i maintain the booty call list of young guys who can go all night….when one of my girlfriends gets horny they call me and i send them some numbers of who is available and new and exciting….its all young guys on that list…i of course will interview an older guy who wants to be put on the list but they never make it on….so i think in getting older its the women who have the advantage….men have a lot to worry about with performance issues and even though there is viagra etc, its just not the same as a healthy young man who knows what his job is and doesnt come with tons of baggage and drama.
Female and male problems can be cured by taking in the 90-minute show “Menopause: The Musical,” a four-woman review that’s running in regional and community theaters across the country. Its the production that launched its own movement — Women for Women Foundation.
All in one day at Bloomies in NYC, Earth Mother, Iowa Housewife, Power Woman, and Soap Star share their perspectives on “the change,” all of which have the audience laughing constantly. The musical is really a series of vignettes that feature parodies 60s and 70s pop hits. It’s fun, it’s interactive, and its broad (pun intended) camp. Take your Significant Other and enjoy a good roll in the aisles.
You can check the web site here. Proceeds go to ovarian cancer research. Another reason to treat yourself to a night out.
Bookmarked and we are going to find a showing! Thanks!
Laughing is very healthy!
I have been told by a source in whose credibility I have complete confidence that this condition, with time, ends, and as much as a man can, I believe I have observed evidence that this is so, at least in the case of that particular and very special source. 🙂
However, I have also been told by another source who recently celebrated her 104th birthday, that she still gets “hot flashes” if she does not take hormone pills.
What do you ladies think?
Anecdotal here…
Both of my grandmothers lived to their late 80’s. My husband’s aunts lived to their mid-80’s. None took hormone replacement therapy (HRT) and all were physically active women. My grandmothers were farmers wives and lived to work in the small gardens as they got into their 70’s.
Discussions in the kitchens…none of these women had HRT and none of them had hot flashes once menopause occurred. Menopause being defined as the cessation of monthly cycles for at least 6 months or more.
A number of women I know are in their early to mid-60’s and take HRT. All of these women have periodic hot flashes. None of the women I know that do not take HRT and have reached menopause have hot flashes.
The books all indicate that until the body stops receiving hormones, the body will try to stop the process the way it was designed to. In effect, hot flashes at that age are the bodies trying to reject the unwanted and unneeded hormones.
Again…just anecdotal…
Well, I started having hot flashes in 2003, and by the end of 2004 they were seriously interfering with my sleep, and very annoying in the daytime as well. I started on a lowest dose of Prempro almost a year ago, and my hot flushes have significantly decreased in frequency (down to 1 to 4 at night, a couple of times in the day) and the severity seems less, too. I’ve gone up to 5 months at at time with no period, and I wish it would just end completely.
Some people are fortunate enough to avoid hot flushes and many other menopausal symptoms. I hoped that I might be lucky as my mother wasn’t as bothered, but no such luck.
Almost all of my friends went through these and they are pretty common – but I missed that one. Although my metabolism changed so that I stopped being cold all the time. No more ice cold feet and hands in bed. Also I went from wearing socks to keep my feet warm, and gave up heavy blankets and comforters to light weight blankets year round.
Do the night hot flushes wake you up?
Is there trouble going back to sleep?
Is there some insomnia with them?
It could be helpful for others to know that may be experiencing the same things but aren’t sure.
I’m not sure what the distinction is between these two – hot, miserable, sweaty regardless of time of day.
Yes, I think* it wakes me up, at least once a night usually after about 5/6 hours of sleep. It takes about an hour to cool off too much and then finally be comfortable again to fall back asleep. Of course, on a normal work night this means I’m aware that if I’m lucky I’ll get another hour or so before the alarm goes off.
* I mean, I know I’m awake, not I think I’m awake. I sometimes wonder which comes first, though – the waking or the sweating.
One night I was sound asleep and my husband stepped in a fur-ball in the hall in the dark and expressed himself loudly. I woke up totally and suddenly, and wasn’t uncomfortable at all, but within a few minutes I was having a hot flash. However, it didn’t last nearly as long as usual; I was back asleep in ten minutes or so.
Well, warning – I’m a biology prof and I teach physiology, so I have a lot to say on this – though I’ll try not to say it all.
I was always told – hot flashes may awaken you in the night and cause sleep problems. But what I experienced was the opposite – I awakened and then a minute or so later, here came the hot flash, like a rolling wave of heat and sweat. Many of my friends report the same experience.
Awakening is really interesting physiologically. We not only return to consciousness with dramatically changing brain wave patterns, our heart rates speed up, and our body temperature rises. And, it turns out, we don’t just do it once a day. We do it repeatedly, rhythmically throughout the day. Our consciousness drifts a little toward the sleep state and then we rev up again. Narcoleptics are though to be lacking this “reawakening” ability. We also have rhythmic patterns of changes in our brain waves as we sleep – drifting close to awakening, then back into deeper sleep.
The hypothalamus is involved in this awakening rhythm – it’s the clock in a way. The hypothalamus also produces the GNRH hormone that stimulates the release of FSH and LH that in turn, stimulate the ovaries to produce estrogen and progesterone. Again, in a rhythmic pattern.
As the ovaries lose the ability to produce as much estrogen (each ovulation leaves a little scar behind – as we age, more and more of our ovaries are scar tissue rather than the follicles where eggs grow and the E and P are made), the hypothalamus produces more GNRH to try to stimulate them more.
I think, (my own hypothesis) that as the GNRH production becomes more intense and loses the rhythm of our younger years, the part of the hypothalamus controlling the sleep wake patterns also is affected. We “awaken” differently. During the day, the temperature reset overshoots and causes hot flashes – and at night, it brings us all the way to “awake” rather than just to nearer consciousness. The hot flash/night sweat then follows.
Cool! (well actually, the topic is “hot”, but the info is cool)
I’m glad to hear some other experiences that indicate the waking comes before the flash, rather than the usually presumed reverse.
Ah night sweats….
I’d wake up dripping wet, literally. Sweat in little rivulets dripping from my torso into the bedclothes. During the worst time this would happen almost every hour between 1-4am. At that rate it wasn’t worth getting up to change the bedclothes… I kept 2 towels by the bed, a dry one that I could use to wipe myself off and a wet one that I’d drape over myself after waking the 2nd or third time. The cold towel on my skin seemed to break the cycle.
I sleep now with an open skylight above the bed and a fan set to low in the bedroom. It seems to help.
The worst thing for me is the intense feeling of anxiety that preceeds a hot flash by about 3 minutes. Awful.
The good news – after close to 15 years of this the symptoms seem to be subsiding.
over prempro- (I’m not a doctor (is lawyer the opposite of doctor?)) But IIRC, activella has less side effects and better efficacy in re hot flashes. Plus it produces a better lipid profile and increases bone mass substantially more than HRT containing conjugated equine estrogens and medroxy progesterone acetate. Again IIRC, activella is made out of 17-Beta ethynyl estradiol (sp?) and gets its progesterone component from NETA- both made from plant sources as opposed to horsie peepee.
But seriously, no one in their right miond should take medical advice from a lawyer, or the internet and especially not a lawyer on the internet.
I also avoid PremPro and its ilk. I take a generic estradiol and a plant based progesterone (when I remember to take the progesterone, which is rarely). From my reading, I think (no real evidence but putting things together from different studies) that the medroxy progesterone acetate form of “progesterone” is bad stuff. I wouldn’t be surprised if that turns out to be a major reason for the increased risks associated with HRT, and that the risks are less with another form of progesterone. Not that MPA is the sole culprit, but a part of it.
I resist taking the progesterone, because progesterone causes me to get really depressed and I always think that I’ll be better equipped to handle a round of depression . . . um, next week, maybe. But I should do it more often, probably.
My foster mother said that the hot flashes never stopped, for her. But see my comment below – we are all different. She lived to be 89. But since she died three years ago, I’m pretty sure that they’re over now. (Unless she was right about that heaven thing being real and God is for some reason causing the hot flashes to continue even there. If you knew Mom, you’d know that the alternative source of eternal hotness is out of the question.)
as the women who experience them. As I described above, I’ve barely had any hot flashes. I haven’t had any for a couple of years. My mother says she also didn’t have much trouble with them. OTOH, I know other women who have continued to suffer from them into their late fifties. I haven’t run into anyone who has had them beyond that point.
considering it’s probably my fault. 😉
Probably what I’m noticing most is the sleep pattern disturbance — I might also have the mood swings but it’s easier to blame those on the spouse. 😉 No hot flashes yet, but I’ve already eliminated the vast majority of caffeine from my diet (except for my iced tea and the occasional coffee when we go out to breakfast) because I noticed that too much caffeine led to heartburn. I can’t remember the last time I had a caffinated soft drink…
I’ve tried to have family discussions, but the only one I can really check with on this is my second sister and she didn’t seem eager to discuss it; my mom and my oldest sister both had hysterectomies in their 30’s due to severe endometriosis, so I couldn’t check with either of them for a family menopausal timeline.
Will definitely look for those books; I’d like to have at least one of them in hand by Friday when I go for my endometrial biopsy with my gyn, and also on December 2nd when I have a complete physical with my PCP.
I’ve been subject to very rough menstrual periods most of my life, though they moderated just a bit when I started taking low-dose birth control pills; part of me is actually looking forward to menopause…
There a multiple websites available offering a wide range of information.
http://www.menopause-metamorphosis.com – this looks like Susun Weed is involved from what I read of the site
http://www.womenshealthnetwork.org
http://womenshealth.about.com/cs/menopaus1/a/symptomsmenopau.htm About.com has some good information but I personally object to their flash ads
Any site that instantly wants to sell you something…run for the back button!
My theory – until the symptoms are truly identified and your doctor agrees…adjust diet and exercise but skip the pills!
i had an endometrial biopsy a few weeks ago….and i started on a low dose pill this week…this is the first time in my life i have taken the pill…so im anxious to see if it helps regulate my periods…or if it affects me in any other way.
everyone is so different….i see men all the time who tell me their wives hit menopause and just stopped havign sex with them….my girlfriends and i all hit menopause and went sexually nuts…..there is never enough for us…i think the answers are very complicated and i wish we would spend more money researching this stuff…how many male impotency pills do we need?
Are there any men still present? Just checking.
I keep trying to blame my bitchiness on mood swings but since I’ve been this way my whole life I guess I can’t. My sleep patterns have changed; I can’t stay up very late anymore and now I really like to get up early without an alarm. I find I sleep way better now that I get regular exercise, especially the 3 days a week that I do weight training. During my 10+ years of depression I basically ate and sat around the house and slept 12 to 14 hours a day and was still always exhausted. You have to expend energy to get energy. You can’t just lie on the couch waiting for energy to infuse your body and make you want to run around the block.
I don’t drink pop anymore, diet pop included. I have one cup of coffee in the morning and then water all day long.
One thing I have always insisted on is women doctors. I had a woman Ob/gyn while I was bearing children, and now I have a woman gynecolgist that doesn’t see OB patients at all. My internist is also a woman. I also choose women doctors who are at least my age or older so they have gone through everything before me.
Who has the sig line (Andi?) about living your life over again but being nastier? That’s me at this stage in my life. I don’t care so much what people think of me and I feel more comfortable in my saggy, mothery body than I ever did as a 20 year old. That’s a good thing.
I’m hoping that men are lurking and that they will hear that as women we acknowledge how alike we are…no matter the generation and that sharing information empowers us to be smarter about ourselves.
For too many years it has been accepted that we were ‘bitchy’ if we challenged, questioned, disagreed, or just had a strong opinion.
As we’ve gotten older it is easier to say this is my opinion, deal with it, convince me otherwise, or move on. I always thought it was great that older women (women in their 80’s and 90’s currently) had such ruthlessly sharp tongues – particularly when there were no men around. When asked these women told me that in order to keep peace they simply made listening noises to the men. They voted differently, read different books, and liked different activities…but couldn’t say so in the older generations.
Now that we are becoming the next older generation we are not doing so quietly. I remember my grandmother telling me that the world wasn’t nice and you didn’t have to put up with it. However, she said when you tell someone to sit down and shut up do it graciously!
So – my old age goal – learn to tell people to STFU and do it graciously!
As we’ve gotten older it is easier to say this is my opinion, deal with it, convince me otherwise, or move on.
I couldn’t agree more, SallyCat. At 51, I find my strongest symptom of menopause to be total unwillingness to take any shit, from anyone, any time!
A couple of years ago, I was at a social gathering with a lot of women in my age cohort. As the discussion inevitably turned to menopause, everyone talked about the infamous “bitchiness.” We agreed that while part of it was hormonal, most of it was just that we’d had enough of putting up with crap, and weren’t afraid to say so.
Also,we’re all probably reacting to the devaluing and invisibility of aging women. In any sane society, women moving from the Mother stage to the Crone would be gaining in social importance and influence, not losing it. So that’s probably part of what’s making us all bitchy, too.
I kind of favour the British “stroppy” instead of “bitchy” — it sounds more formidable.
At 51, I find my strongest symptom of menopause to be total unwillingness to take any shit, from anyone, any time!
Well, that seals the deal. I’m naturally pretty mouthy already, so it sounds like I’m going to wind up spending my 50s in jail. Could be worse, I guess.
A big thanks to all you ladies for sharing! All the women on my mother’s side of the family have passed away already and I can’t talk to my dad’s family about anything meaningful, so I appreciate all of this information, it’s the only way I’ll ever know anything practical/useful about the pause.
i have never had a good experience with a female ob/gyn…and ive seen 5 of them….i prefer men.
Thanks for posting this diary. Appreciate the resources identified – and, as I have come to expect, the intelligent discussion!
I just love this site!
We are all different.
My menopause – or peri or post or whatever – has been extremely difficult. (Started at 45, I’m now 57) Severe hot flashes, sweating profusely, at one point every twenty to thirty minutes during the daytime. I couldn’t get through a lecture without at least two. Literally dripping sweat – I had a whole wardrobe of white shirts to teach in because white is the best color for not showing the wet splashes. Dripping on students that I leaned over to help with using the microscope (ack!), leaving wet smudges on papers I was grading. But I could live with that, even though it was a drag.
The sleep disturbances were the killer. After years of trying everything I could think of or that I read about or others recommended – nutritional, herbal, exercise, stress reduction techniques, etc – it got to the point of sleeping only two hours out of every 24 – every night. Not two hours at a time, two hours total. Sleep one hour, awake for several hours, sleep another hour, and then off to work. It’s hard to describe what this is like to someone who hasn’t experienced it. Most of us undergo sleep deprivation for relatively short periods – and then we can take some time to recover. At least a little. Even when I had a premature newborn that had to be fed every two hours for several months, it was easier. But day after day after day after day after. . . of trying to function on two hours of sleep – without any break, none, not even a little, not even an extra hour or two for even one day . . . . It was like being perennially on speed. Exhausted but totally wired.
I couldn’t remember the simplest things. Trying to lecture to a class of college students – try that when you can’t remember words like “nephron” or “lymphatic.” Worse was the decline in reaction time. Every time I got in the car I wondered if I was going to kill myself or someone else. I mean, driving really scared me, but I couldn’t figure out any way to avoid it.
I take estrogen. I know it’s risky. I knew it before it became common knowledge because I’d read the studies in the medical journals – I’m a scientist, and most of the pro-HRT studies were crappy science. Better studies were already showing the dangers and were being pooh-poohed by most doctors, until the evidence was so overwhelming that it could no longer be ignored. I know it’s a bad choice for most women. But we are all different. Many women report no symptoms at all. Most have mild to moderate symptoms and many of the things you are suggesting can be very helpful if that’s the hand you are dealt, I think. But there are a few, like me, who have extreme symptoms. I’ve chosen to take the risks in order to be able to be functional at all.
Please keep in mind that when you are sharing what helps you, that just because something works for you doesn’t mean that it’s going to help someone else. We are all different. Please don’t judge or condemn women like me who choose to take estrogen, knowing the risks. I hear it a lot. As if we are stupid or self-indulgent, somehow. One of the worst things for me to deal with was feeling guilty, and a failure as a woman because I couldn’t just “tough it out” with a little help from lifestyle changes, herbal remedies, etc. I got lectured to a lot. I was told that I wasn’t doing the right thing (I tried everything), or I wasn’t doing it right, or I wasn’t somehow, trying hard enough. “Look, this works for me! If you’d just . . . ” I tried. For years.
People have to do what they need to make themselves healthy. HRT isn’t necessarily a bad thing; it was overprescribed and had underdisclosed problems. That shouldn’t be a reason for any individual to not take it; it’s a reason why the medical profession should be very thorough in discussing HRT with any woman. Informed choice is the critical issue. I was lucky to be going to a nurse practitioner at the time I was making the decision and she took a lot of time discussing it with me and provided me with a lot of good information. That’s the way it should always be done.
I was on HRT for several years. Don’t really like taking prescribed medication. A study came out 3 or 4 years ago regarding the side effects of HRT, one of which was increased risk of heart attack. Since heart disease is rampant in my family, I pulled myself off the HRT, cold turkey. VERY BAD MOVE! The effect was like feeling like I’d been in an automobile accident every day. Couldn’t move without get pain, felt deeply bruised, and achy all over. The Dr. told me that not enough is know about HRT’s side effects, even today. The study referenced above turned out to be one completed on a small sample of women with other issues (smokers for one). Today, at 57, I only get a hot flash if I drink alcohol. I don’t have night sweats any longer, low dose of estrotest helps increase the sex drive, and I feel stronger and more self-assured than ever before.
Go, girls, go! Look forward to becoming your best ever selves!
makes me appreciate just how easy I had it (see my comment upthread). And more importantly, it helps other women make informed choices; so I, for one, am very glad you included your experiences.
Janet, I would never, ever make judgements about other people’s medical decisions (well, that’s wrong – I’ve known too many people to stick solely with their family practitioner for cancer treatment. And I have to admit, I judge them. Poorly.)
Tough it out? People told you that? Although, having lived in a college town, I shouldn’t be surprised. I know exactly the kind of judgemental attitude you mean.
And it’s the biggest reason I left that town.
I hope, that the HRT has made a difference for you. Could you tell us a little about that?
Umm, I’m not sure there’s that much to tell about what it is like, exactly. See my comment up thread about the kind of hormones I take. (Not PremPro.) I feel a whole hell of a lot better, mainly due to being able to sleep 5 or 6 hours a night now – which is not enough for me – I’m one who needs eight hours, but I can cope on six – I can’t on two. I take naps when I can.
My hot flashes are down to three or four a day, and milder. I often wake up once or twice in the night, but I can get back to sleep pretty easily.
HRT comes with a higher risk of both cardiovascular disease and breast cancer, so I wouldn’t have taken it just to reduce the hot flashes. As I said, they were a real drag, but not worth the risk to take HRT for that reason alone. It all comes down to each woman making the judgement of how much her symptoms are interfering with her quality of life and whether the risk is worth it.
I hadn’t really thought about the “college town” aspect. Austin has gotten so big since I first moved here in 1970 that it doesn’t really feel like a college town anymore. But we still have a huge contingent of “back to nature” types who can be real snobs about it. (As they drive away from the natural food store in their SUVs – don’t get me started . . . )
Agreement that different things work for different women. It was part of the reason for my disclaimer in the diary.
There were times that I wanted more than the herbals offered, several of my friends took HRT for 10+ years, and each of them was glad they did. I react so badly to prescription medications that it is almost impossible for me to take ANY drugs. Hormones – even birth control pills affected me badly.
Pleae let us know the advantages of HRT for you and what you discovered in seeking medical assistance. A lot of us have no experience with HRT as an alternative.
Thanks for this diary, SallyCat. I’m going to look for the books you recommend. I haven’t had too much trouble with hot flashes as such — I’m just too hot all the time! Sleep disturbance, too, and of course the ever-popular memory loss. Oh, and did I mention the memory loss?
My biggest irritation at this point is that, while all this new stuff is going on, so are the periods. In fact, they’re getting closer together. I’ve mentioned this to a number of slightly older women I know, who’ve already stopped menstruating, and most of them say, yeah, your periods will probably get closer together for a while before they start getting further apart, and then stop. Roll on the getting further apart, is all I can say.
The best diet tip I’ve come across is to make soy products a regular part of your diet, for the phytoestrogens. For anyone who’s not a fan of tofu or soy milk, you can throw a bunch of soft tofu into a yogurt and fruit blender smoothie, and it won’t affect the taste. I’ve heard that Asian women suffer much less from menopausal symptoms, particularly hot flashes and night sweats, and the high use of soy in their diet may be the reason.
Toward the end of my peri-menopause, my period, which had been highly regular all my life, would have a cycle that could be anywhere from 20 to 30 days but much more toward the short side.
It also stopped once for 4 months and came back and then stopped for 6 months and came back again before it finally stopped permanently. You know, there ought to be some sort of celebration where you burn your tampons (like burning your gym suits in high school) when it is finally gone.
For many women menopause signals a new life and they really do feel reborn. I know that I will feel sadness when my period finally stops even though it has been a royal pain in the neck to deal with each month for these last 30 years. For me it will signal an inarguable end to childbearing; a stage of my life that has been particularly sweet and joyous.
That starting/stopping thing has been almost theonly signal of Peri-menopause for me. I am still going through that now. Although, as my doctor said (above) some of that might be fuelled by the weight loss.
The other change is the discharge (?) it hardly looks or acts like blood — more like, well red snot. And if I’ve gone to far with that comment, could someone ask Susan to delete it?
Honesty, katiebird, I’m eating breakfast! Seriously, I know what you mean about the monthly flow. I’ve been caught in public places with no protection at a time when I thought my period was over but it was justing hiding out for a day or two and then, WHAM, starts again abruptly. What a drag.
That WHAM, yes — Or I’ve gotten up from the toilet and looked down in absolute shock thinking, “Where did that come from”
And, I’ll tell you — public bathrooms are not set up to handle some of these situations.
(I was going to say, who would eat breakfast while reading this diary. But I was eating breakfast while commenting!)
with me at all times. Although the duration of my period stayed normal, I couldn’t keep track of when it would start because the cycle was completely unpredictable. Another thing you can carry around are those “light days” pads. I never really liked them but those thin pads take almost no space to carry around.
yep.
My cycle is completely regular, like clockwork every 30 days. But instead of 5 days ranging from heavy on the first two days and then gradually tapering off, it’s like day one: very light day two: so heavy I can’t leave the house, day three: nothing, day four: very light then a couple hours of extremely heavy, day five: very light.
I always carry stuff with me, but the last time it happened I was taking a walking tour of a college campus on day (6!)…I never have a day six!
If we could have a diary that was password protected so only women could view it, we could all share our period horror stories. I swear I have the best. Every time I tell it people bow down to me and tell me I am the queen.
Am I crazy? I want to hear it. I know what you mean about the password protected thing…. I felt funny posting as much as I did.
But, really — shouldn’t everyone be warned by the Title, that anything could happen here?
in my desk…and anywhere I can think of! There were several years that the cycle was so random, I never knew when. Now that it’s almost over its consistent at 29 days…and blessed Goddess…1 1/2 days only!
Freedom is just around the corner!
Okay, Second Nature, you must tell your horror story! I’m agog, and I bet everyone else is too. And as for being women-only, it seems like, except for Ductape, bless his heart, there aren’t any men on this thread. I think we may have this topic pretty much all to ourselves. 😀
there aren’t any men on this thread
Darn. No men to boss around & make them do what they fear most: “Go out and buy some just-in-case tampons”.
LOL. I’m not sure I would inflict that even on a man I didn’t like; I find buying menstrual supplies (or “feminine paper” as they call it in one of the drugstore chains here) to be a totally surreal experience.
Pads. Pads with or without wings. Ultrathin pads, with or without wings. Light, Regular, Heavy, Overnight? Then just as an added complication, if you finally find the exact combo you’re looking for, it’s never the package size that’s on sale. I think it’s all part of a plot to drive women crazy.
I will write a brief summary and you can fill in the rest. Here are the main points: my first time on a fancy vacation (with my now-husband on business) staying at the Fess Parker Doubletree Resort in Santa Barbara. Room – $435.00 a night. So, he is at a business meeting and I’m down at the pool, the white tiled pool with the white chaise lounges covered with the white plush towels that the cabana boys have brought me. I’m in heaven at this point, lazing around in the sun, luckily my period had only lasted 2 days and was now blissfully over so I could take a dip in the pool. So I return to my fancy-pants chaise and sit down and notice, you guessed this didn’t you?, that there are bloody footprints leading from the water to….OH MY GOD!…they’re leading to me! Now I look down and notice how the immediate area looks like a scene from THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE and the sleek, tanned bods surrounding the pool have notice this also…Oh goody, I was afraid I was going to be able to slink away unnoticed.
I bow down to you — you are the queen, indeed. I have heard many period horror stories in my time, but I think this is the first to feature bloody footprints. Please don’t think I’m sick and/or heartless, but I’m still laughing. (In a sisterly way, of course!)
Yeah, it was pretty impressive. You know how the presence of water just magnifies the volume.
I think it was God’s way of telling me that even though I was in this fabulous place and feeling like a princess, I was still just a poor schmuck.
You figure God’s still mad at us over that business with the snake and the apple? (After all, that’s why they call it The Curse.)
If you ask me, that’s way too long to hold a grudge.
If that didn’t open the memory box! Fortunately not my story, but my mother’s. I was about 11, my brother 4; and we were traveling with the parents in Italy. (This was before the pamphlet about “Your Changing Body” was left on my bed, or any semblance of “the talk”). My Mom was wearing what I now know was a wonderful skirt; white with a “road map” of Italy printed all over it. So as we left the restaurant after lunch, and wandered along the shops I noticed, and commented….
“Mommy – you sat on a big tomato at the restaurant!”
I think you may be getting more clots in your flow, Katie. I’ve had more in the last couple of years, too. I’ve had them before, never a lot, but they seem to be increasing.
I’m off to work — I’ll drop in if I can, but I might not be able to get to it.
I hope this conversation keeps going and I’ll be back tonight.
Love you all.
I’ll have to check out the books that you recommended. I started menopause at about 32, very irregular cycles – like only twice a year. Tests didn’t reveal that I was full blown menopausal until two years ago. Hot flashes suck, and at 38, I don’t know how long I will have to tolerate them.
The most shocking revelation is that I have osteopenia(sp?), a precursor to osteoporosis. I had lost about 15 pounds cutting back on calcium, now I have to increase my intake.
I’ve always been blessed with strong bones…all of my sisters and I are just big-boned, German women! Weight training helps keep them strong and builds bone-density, even into your sixties and seventies.
The Pause talks about mid-30’s and New Menopause Years talks about issues from age 30-90 including pregnancy for older women, diet, osteoporosis, and heart disease.
Again for each of us the time frame is different based on genetics, lifestyle, etc. I’m a slender, non-child bearing, smoker…prime candidate for early start per the books. But others starts that vary – the kitchen table discussion here – which helps others reading and learning.
Along the lines of “we’re all different” I’ve been puzzling over whats happening to me. I took depo pavera for over 10 years after surgery for endometreosis. During that time I mostly didn’t have periods. I decided to stop taking it 3 years ago just before I turned 50 and have only had 1 or 2 periods since. I keep looking for menopausal symptoms and sometimes I think I have them, ie memory loss, sleep problems and depression, but not significantly. When I’ve had blood tests, the dr. tells me that I’m definitely in menopause, but that my estrogen levels haven’t dropped yet. And that when they do – I’ll have symptoms. So I feel in some kind of limbo – just waiting and watching. I suppose I should be grateful, but I also feel a little paranoid trying to figure out every time I cry if its because I’m really sad or just menopause.
And I have to add that its really great for me to talk about this. I’ve had problems with my period since I was 13 (back in 1967) and remember feeling so alone and ashamed because I couldn’t talk to anyone about it (not even my mother). So now I’ve vowed to myself that I’ll talk loud and proud about it all. After all, its just like anyother medical issue!!
I had a complete hysterectomy at 28 and took hormones for years. Basically because I was so young I went through menopause early and aside from the occassional hot flash it was pretty easy- not to mention that I only had periods for 14 years. That was a big Plus.
I had it easy and I think it may have been because I had acupuncture for years for fibroids. Had some short-term problems with hot flashes but the needles helped with that too. Have been using a progesterone product called Progest (over-the-counter). I couldn’t tell if my sleep problems were due to menopause or my crazy living situation and I’ve always had bouts of insomnia. They’re in remission right now (and no more pscho housemates). And I found I could do OK with little sleep, unlike in my youth.
It wasn’t until menopause that I found out how emotionally yanked around I’d been by hormonal swings. I’m so calm and even-keeled now life is a joy!
Great diary, and discussion. Thanks SallyCat!
Wow! I almost didn’t click this diary. Had a complete hysterectomy 3 years ago (age 44) after suffering through peri-menopause for 4 years (night sweats, irritable beyond belief, etc.). There were good medical reasons for the hysterectomy apart from joining the wonderful, happy “uterine free zone” :-). I took HRT for about 3 months. Honestly, I quit because I’m terrible at taking medication. I forget, then get all screwed up. The prescription needed refilling, and I …… forgot to get it refilled. By the time I remembered, it was 2 weeks down the road. I wasn’t feeling weird so I just didn’t take them anymore. Haven’t had any night sweats. I’m still irritable but that’s probably just my personality.
Anyhoo, I recently had a major health issue that causes a lot of dizziness and brain fog. I’m nearing 50 so between the medical issues and the age thing, I wasn’t paying much attention.
Now after reading everyone’s replies I’m wondering if the memory issues, vague depression, sleep disturbances, irritability, etc. is more likely due to lack of estrogen. I’ve also noticed a very weird redistribution of my body weight. I’ve never worried about weight, but suddenly my body looks damn weird in the mirror. Anyone else notice this?? It’s truly not weight gain, just weight in places it’s never been before.
So, usually just a lurker here, but thanks for the good info. I think I’ll ask my doctor about all this.
insomnia and others are all symptoms of change. All three books discuss hysterectomies NOT stopping the hormone changes. From my general recollection of my reading a lot depends on the type of hysterectomy and post surgical medical treatments. IIRC not all surgeries remove the ovaries and they are at the heart of the hormones.
My recommendation again would be to google Menopause, Hysterectomy. And if you feel the information is not what you need, trying adding: ,uk or ,fr to your search. My partial apologies to the U.S. community but regularly I’ve found more indepth information on European sites.
A really good doctor is open to patients asking questions…particularly gyn’s (in my experience). It also helps avoid the feeling sometimes of being patted on the head.
Thanks for de-lurking and sharing your experience with us.