You know, I’ve been wondering something. During wartime, when our nation is faced with a grave crisis such as it has never experienced before in all it’s long history, which candidate do you think would be most qualified to deal with this problem?

. . . Last summer, according to published reports, a 20-year-old Bronx soldier paid a hit man $500 to shoot him in the knee on the day he was scheduled to return to Iraq. The year before that, a 24-year-old specialist from Washington state escaped a second tour of duty, according to his sister, by strapping on a backpack full of tools and leaping off the roof of his house, injuring his spine.

Such cases of self-harm are a “rising trend” that military doctors are watching closely, says Col. Kathy Platoni, an Army Reserve psychologist who has worked with veterans of Iraq and Afghanistan. “There are some soldiers who will do almost anything not to go back,” she says. Col. Elspeth Ritchie, the Army’s top psychologist, agrees that we could see an uptick in intentional injuries as more U.S. soldiers serve long, repeated combat tours, “but we just don’t have good, hard data on it.” Intentional- injury cases are hard to identify, and even harder to prosecute. Fewer than 21 soldiers have been punitively discharged for self-harm since 2003, according to the military. What’s worrying, however, is that American troops committed suicide at the highest rate on record in 2007—and the factors behind self-injury are similar: combat stress and strained relationships. “It’s often the families that don’t want soldiers to return to war,” says Ritchie.

Now Senator Obama wants to withdraw our troops from Iraq, so that multiple tours will not be necessary and our soldiers won’t be tempted to deliberately injure themselves or commit suicide to avoid going back into combat.

But I just bet Johnny Mac* has a better idea. And what would that be? Why, to fully enforce the laws against desertion! A few firing squads ought to have a very salutary effect on the fighting spirit of our men in women in uniform. And after we get rid of a few bad apples, it will be smooth sailing to victory! In another hundred years, or so …

* I’m frankly stealing this nickname for the GOP’s presumptive nominee from the diary of this long time Booman Tribune contributor (loyal member since June 7, 2008), because — well because I think it accords to Senator McCain the proper note of respect and esteem in which I hold him. From here on out he isn’t Saint John McCain or Senator Straight Shooter to me. Nope, he’s Johnny Mac from now on, a nickname reminiscent of another famous martial sobriquet from our nation’s rich heritage.