Oh, the things you can learn by surfing the internet. For example, did you know that teaching your children about Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny will scar them for life, likely turn them into murderers who hate Jesus and when they are rightly executed for their crimes they’ll go straight to hell?

Well, you do now.

Which is why the Pasco County School System in Florida Schools did the right thing by firing a substitute teacher for improper use of magic.

Substitute teacher Jim Piculas does a 30-second magic trick where a toothpick disappears then reappears.

But after performing it in front of a classroom at Rushe Middle School in Land ‘O Lakes, Piculas said his job did a disappearing act of its own.

“I get a call the middle of the day from the supervisor of substitute teachers. He says, ‘Jim, we have a huge issue. You can’t take any more assignments. You need to come in right away,'” he said.

When Piculas went in, he learned his little magic trick cast a spell that went much farther than he’d hoped.

“I said, ‘Well Pat, can you explain this to me?’ ‘You’ve been accused of wizardry,’ [he said]. Wizardry?” he asked.

This is the clearly right decision. Piculas should not only be fired, he ought to be burned at the stake for his Satanic ways. Because if belief in Santa Claus is a one way ticket to hell for your child, imagine what watching a magic trick performed by a substitute teacher will do for his or her eternal soul? Naturally, a few evolutionist, atheistic, liberal fascist scientists are defending Wizard Piculas for making a toothpick disappear before the eyes of poor innocent school children, but who in their right, God fearing, mind would ever listen to what they have to say?