Froggy Bottom Cafe~French Cafe Night

Posted by diane101 | Oct 10, 2005 | 37 |

Wecome to the FBC~french Cafe, please dress for the occasion. Come in and join us!
Luscious food and drinks are awaiting within!

About The Author

diane101

Mother and Grandmother, living in Orange County, Ca. Full time blogger, ex antique dealer, avid gardener, tole painter, writer.

37 Comments

diane101 on October 10, 2005 at 6:41 pm

Welcome everyone, here I am over by the piano…
Second Nature on October 10, 2005 at 6:50 pm

Oh Jeez, dress for the occasion? I hope yoga pants and a knit shirt will do because that’s what passes for “dressy” with me. I will, however, wear shoes and a bra just for you.
- diane101 on October 10, 2005 at 6:58 pm
  
  cool, especially about the shoes and bra part, yes I think you will fit right in.
  Months ago I did a diary on what do you wear while blogging with poll. Some surprising answers.
  Just for the heck of it, lets all tell what we wear while blogging.
  I dress like the pic. above, how about you Laura…
  - Second Nature on October 10, 2005 at 7:37 pm
    
    Um, Diane…I would like some photographic proof that you dress so very chic while blogging. You have put me to shame.
    - diane101 on October 10, 2005 at 7:49 pm
      
      That is a photo.. er painting,.. drawing of me, I have a special assistant who keeps all my clothes in top notch condition…LOL
  - Sven Triloqvist on October 10, 2005 at 8:15 pm
    
    I usually wear whatever I am wearing, except I like to kick off my slippers as I settle back in an Italian brown leather recliner under my 1928 Dentists lamp.
    
    But that is in the evening. In the mornings I can be found in my Ristomatti Ratia black and white striped dressing gown with a cup of tea at my side.
    
    When my daughters are with me at the weekend, I lose all control of the G4 laptop, as they seem to be in permament IM communication with some kind of galactic network that never sleeps. At such times I retire to the G5 edit suite and entertain myself on about 0.5 square meters of twin digital screen. I sometimes change into a T-shirt for such occasions as i know I am going to fiddle with some project into the early hours.
- catnip on October 10, 2005 at 8:49 pm
  
  Just shoes and a bra? That’s the dress code now? Okay. I think I can manage that but I’ll need a blanket too. It’s cold here! I promise it will be an equally fashionable blanket.
  - Sven Triloqvist on October 10, 2005 at 9:05 pm
    
    you can use my recliner 😉
    - catnip on October 10, 2005 at 9:09 pm
      - kansas on October 10, 2005 at 9:15 pm
        
        Made me laugh.
        
        Do you know how hard to type it is with a dachshund sitting with her rear on your lap and insisting on having her head tucked right under your jaw? At least I don’t have to try to talk to anybody.
      - KMc on October 11, 2005 at 11:10 am
        
        I’ve had much the same experience with a cat, and since I work on a laptop with a touch pad, she moves the mouse every time she swishes her tail because I’m not paying her enough attention. I’ve got two who take turns doing this. Ah the traumas of the writing life.
      - CabinGirl on October 11, 2005 at 11:16 am
        
        like to come up under my desk and give my forearm a good push with their noses while I’m typing, to remind me that the true purpose of my hands is for scratching behind their ears…drives me crazy!
      - Sven Triloqvist on October 10, 2005 at 9:15 pm
        
        It’s OK, I’m not into laptop dancing
Man Eegee on October 10, 2005 at 7:04 pm

we have a birthday in the frog pond.
Second Nature on October 10, 2005 at 8:14 pm

of myself, but I’m going to leave for a while to watch Wife Swap. A southern beauty-pageant family swaps with a crunchy granola type artist family with no tv. God, it makes me feel like my family is normal!
- kansas on October 10, 2005 at 9:16 pm
  
  A southern beauty-pageant family swaps with a crunchy granola type artist family with no tv.
  
  Bless their hearts.
  - Second Nature on October 10, 2005 at 9:49 pm
    
    Hey! You are now officially a Southern belle!
boran2 on October 10, 2005 at 9:02 pm

I’d like some french fries, please.
- catnip on October 10, 2005 at 9:11 pm
  
  I’m French. What would you like me to fry?
  - boran2 on October 10, 2005 at 9:44 pm
    
    Umm, whatever comes to mind. 😉
    - Second Nature on October 10, 2005 at 9:50 pm
      
      Well, she’s sitting there in shoes and a bra, so use your imagination.
      - Connecticut Man1 on October 11, 2005 at 2:28 am
        
        At the risk of starting a pie fight…
        
        I am imagining that she looks like this…
        
        If pie fights disturbed you than that link will definately have you throwing things at me.
        
        Be forwarned… Do not click if humourous nudity for a good cause will cause you to hate me! And it is definately NOT A KID FRIENDLY LINK!
diane101 on October 10, 2005 at 9:26 pm

Say, what’s going on in here, I just left for a bit and when I come back, well I declare….
- kansas on October 10, 2005 at 10:09 pm
  
  “well I declare”
  
  Another Southern Belle! It’s contagious. Must be the Mint Juleps.
CabinGirl on October 10, 2005 at 10:43 pm

Carnacki has a diary on the recent list, and at the end he mentions good news he’s afraid to tell and jinx…but maybe if we give him enough 4s, he’ll spill the beans…so drop on by and show him some love…
- Oui on October 11, 2005 at 3:17 am
  
  .
  In Carnacki’s Tip Jar …
  
  PS French Fries for early breakfast?
  Have a memory patch for the word fries, ever since it was used to vilify the French! Best camouflage such pre-emptive action by calling it freedom!
  
  ▼ ▼ ▼
  - CabinGirl on October 11, 2005 at 6:49 am
    
    Thanks, Oui!
diane101 on October 11, 2005 at 12:12 am

I have a suggestion, for everyone who is feeling down and out of sorts over the recent happenings on the site, take a little trip over to Village Blue and get some soul soothing.
- katiebird on October 11, 2005 at 12:18 am
  
  I guess I’ve missed something?
  
  This is where I come for some soul soothing.
- Yaright on October 11, 2005 at 4:04 am
  
  Whoo! That description fits me to a T this fine evening.
  
  Of course, I typo’d my email addy, so I had to register twice. Sorry about that. I’ll have to check it out when its not 3am.
dada on October 11, 2005 at 12:47 am

OK…looks like it’s a fun crowd tonight so I’ll share a bit piece of humour I got in the ‘mail today…made me laugh out loud, (no offense intended) :{)

Never Touchin’ the Taser Again!

My wife is fond of saying that my last words on this earth will be something akin to “Well, I have out done myself once again”. No doubt you will see this story chronicled in a Lifetime movie sometime in the near future.

Here goes…

Last weekend I spied something at a pawn shop that tickled my fancy. (Note: Keep in mind that my ‘fancy’ is easily tickled) I bought something really cool for my wife.

The occasion was our 18th anniversary and I was looking for something extra for my sweet lady.

What I found was a 100’00 volt’ pocket/purse Taser with a clip. For those unfamiliar with this product, it’s a non-lethal stun gun with two metal prongs designed to incapacitate an assailant with a shock of high voltage, low amperage electricity allowing you to flee to safety. The effects are supposed to be short lived with no long terms adverse effects, but strong enough for you to safely retreat.

You just jab the prongs into your 250 lb. tattooed assailant, push the button, rendering him a slobbering, google-eyed’ muscle-twitching, whimpering. pencil-neck geek…way cool!

Long story short’ I bought it and brought it home, loaded two AAA batteries in to it and pushed the button…Nothing! I was seriously disappointed. Upon reading the direction (we don’t need no stinkin’ directions) I found, much to my chagrin that this particular model would not create an arc between the two prongs. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface that I’d get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs that I was so looking forward to. I did so…way cool! Awesome! Sparks, a bright blue arc and a loud “pop!’……Yipppeeeee!

For you information, I’m easily amused, but I have yet to explain to my wife what that burn spot on the face of the microwave is.

OK, so I was at home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn’t be that bad with only two AAA batteries, etc, etc.

There I was, sitting in my recliner, my dog looking on intently (trusting soul that he is), reading the directions (that would be me, not the dog) thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a real flesh and blood target.

I admit, I thought about the dog for a fraction of a second but thought better of it…he is such a sweet pup, after all. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife for protection, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? Was I wrong in thinking that? It seemed reasonable to me at the time.

So there I sat in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt with my glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, Taser in the other. The directions said a 1 second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a 2 second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a loss of bodily control; and a 3 second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water.

All the while I’m looking at this little device, measuring about 5″ long and 3/4 inch in diameter, kinda cute really, loaded with 2 itsy’ bitsy AAA batteries, thinking to myself, ” No friggin’ way!”

Friggin’ way! – trust me, but I digress…

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I’ll do my best. Those of you who know me well probably have a pretty good idea of what followed. I’m sitting there alone with the dog looking on with his head cocked to one side as if to say, “Don’t do it buddy”…reasoning that a 1 second burst from such a tiny lil’ ole thing couldn’t hurt all that bad…sound, rational thinking under the circumstance, wouldn’t you agree?

I decided to give myself a 1 second burst just for the hell of it.

(Note: You all know a bad decision is like hindsight…always 20-20. It is so obvious that it was a bad decision, even though it seemed logical at the time…I hate that! I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY****!DAAAAAAUUUUUUUMMMMN!!!

I’m pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the front door, snatched me out of the recliner, and body slammed me repeatedly on the carpet. I vaguely remember waking up in a fetal position, nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, soaking wet, with my arm tucked under my body in the oddest position. The dog was standing over me making sounds I’d never heard before, licking my face, obviously thinking to himself, “Do it again, do it again!”

(Note: If you ever feel compelled to mug yourself with a Taser, be advised that there is NO SUCH THING as a 1 second burst when it’s self-inflicted. You’re not going to let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor…then, if you’re lucky, you won’t have broken off one of the prongs 1/2″ deep in your thigh like yours truly.

SON OF A *** that hurt! A minute or two later ( I’m not real sure. as time was a relative thing at this point) I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My glasses were on the tv across the room, my triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching, my face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my lower lip weighed 85 lbs. give or take an ounce.

By the way, has anyone seen my testicles? I think they ran away. I’m offering a reward. They’re round, kinda hairy, and handsome if I may say so myself. Miss ’em; sure would like to get ’em back.

Peace
- diane101 on October 11, 2005 at 1:02 am
  
  That was hilarious, but I felt guilty for laughing thinking of the actual pain the guy was going through.
- Janet Strange on October 11, 2005 at 1:19 am
  
  all the pets staring because I’m laughing so hard can’t even read the last part because I always end up with tears running down my cheeks when I laugh that hard but managed to get back in focus for the last paragraph and . . . OMG lose it all over again.
  
  Whew. Thanks dada. I needed that. I think I need a cigarette.
- NorthDakotaDemocrat on October 11, 2005 at 4:02 am
  
  I don’t even remember that last time I laughed this hard.
  
  Need tissues for cheeks… oops… the ones directly under the eyes, that is.
  
  You’ll probably get a Pultizer or something for the Best Short Story of 2005.
  
  Be sure to let us all know when “tus dos huevos” reappear.
  - NorthDakotaDemocrat on October 11, 2005 at 4:11 am
    
    Correction! Now on the re-read I see it wasn’t actually you, dada, well, wheeewww!! That was a close one, eh?
Melanchthon on October 11, 2005 at 3:40 am

Good morning to you all from France,

The café painted by Van Gogh still exists on the Place du Forum in Arles. Here it is:

Have a nice day!
- diane101 on October 11, 2005 at 11:07 am
  
  Oh thanks for that pic, I have saved it for future use. that is just so cool.

Froggy Bottom Cafe~French Cafe Night

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diane101

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