Whenever I get more than a day off in a row, I really enjoy spending a few hours honing my skills. Memorial Day is kind of winding down now, and tomorrow, it’s back into the trenches to do battle with the Oiligarchy for all of us. I worked hard to come up with some eye-candy treats for everybody today to maybe make that transition a little smoother. I definitely love movies, and in my opinion, Hollywood is the last annoying hold out that the Third Right has not been able to topple, corrupt, or otherwise silence in their quest for total domination.
Well, if you’re interested, cue up “Soul Bossa Nova” on MP3 if you’ve got it, and follow me…
The REAL Dr Evil… the man behind everything.
This weekend I became a little refocused on the real man in charge at the White House… the vice president. If anyone is interested, this is a link to a very interesting documentary about the true president from the BBC. I think that we should all refocus upon the man behind the curtain as frequently as possible… although he’s not really a doctor, he is truly Evil… Chimpotus is nothing more than a continually failing illegal clone experiment… (BTW, I thought it was a little unnerving and freaky how Cheney looks like Jeff Gannon with his head shaved…)
You complete me…
For any of you that are as anxious as I am to see the whole administration do the frog walk, here’s a little teaser to help you keep faith until that blessed day…
It’s the hard-knock life for US!
It’s the hard-knock life for US!
‘Steada treated, We get tricked!
‘Steada kisses, We get kicked!
Of course Evil(Bu$hCo) Inc. has to have a business manager to run finances while Dr. Evil is occupied with planning… meet Number Two:
He’s a master at every conceivable nefarious fund raising scheme. He’s rumored to have lost his eye in the service of Evil… used a wood when he should have used an iron and his ball ricocheted off of a Buddhist temple on a course in Japan.
Well, without delay, there would have to be a number three… you don’t want to mess with her… Meet Frau Condissinya:
She’s rumored to be the secret squeeze of Dr. Evil… they attempted to keep their little fling on the QT, but it got a little complicated:
“Hot Pocket…?”
“No thank you…”
“It got a little weird, didn’t it… yes…”
“Herr Dr. Evil… I’m late…”
“Oh, not to worry… I’ve died over three times myself… they’ll fix you right up…”
Meet Fristie Evil, illegitimate love child of Dr. Evil and Frau:
He fancies himself as the heir apparent to Evil Inc. but is constantly having his affections for his father rejected or else sabotaged by Mini-Me:
That…that mini-you… he’s always ruining everything that I try to do in the Senate, and sneaking around behind my back… and besides that, he bites…”
“Mini-Me… have you been trying to hump the help again…?”
“Mmm-Mmm.”
“Oh, Mini-Me… how could I ever be angry with you… you’re so cute! Now run along and go ride you’re little bicycle… Daddy’s working…”
“I hate you! You always listen to HIM… I got you those judges and that Halliburton contract…”
“Hush…!”
“but…”
“Shushh…!”
“but I…”
“Zip…!”
“I…”
“Zipezipezip it…! Boo-fricking-hoo… want me to call mommy…? Throw me a frickin boner here… You know, Frist… your problem is that you’re just not Evil enough… you’re the social security reform of Evil… the political capital of Evil… the Lite Beer of Evil… a third of the calories, and tastes like crap…”
Of course, what movie would be complete without incompetent sycophant henchmen… Meet Fat Rushturd, mouthpiece and overall go to guy for Dr. Evil:
(again, it was unnerving how seamless this one was…)
“Tell ya what Dr. Evil… and ye are a doctor, right…? I’ll give you your mojo and ye can keep your money and yer baby… just give me a suit case full of Percocet …
I love my Percocet-Percocet-Percocet… I love my Percocet-Percocet-Percocet…
Get in my belly…!”
And finally, where would our little morality play be without the good guys? Meet Arizona Powers and Foxy Clintonpatra:
“Arizona, we’ve got to stop Dr Evil before he invades another middle-east country…”
“Oh behave, baby…! Don’t you remember, Foxy…? IRAN that by you last week…………… are you saying that we should shut down his little NUCLEAR POGROM………. right, OK, let’s be off then…”
Well, that’s about it for now… I had fun putting this together and I hope you enjoyed it! As usual, feel welcome to use or disperse anything that you see fit, with my compliments…
