As everyone knows, as soon as we’ve trained the Iraqis to provide their own security, we’re leaving Iraq. But they’re embarrassingly slow learners!
We’ve been training them for more than two years – ever since we supervised the looting of ½ billion pounds of explosives, the destruction of 4000 year old artifacts, the disappearance of 10 billion dollars, and the death of 50,000 civilians maybe – who’s counting? Yet somehow, those Iraqis still don’t seem to know what security is, or how to do it themselves.
When we train Iraqi soldiers, we show them how to fight without air support, tanks, or armor piercing firearms, and with just glow sticks to see at night. They must not realize we’re watching from our Bradley vehicles through our night vision goggles – but we do and, believe me, they’re total cowards!
And so lazy! And the weapons they bring to work really stink! And that’s a good thing actually, because I don’t think they’re too loyal, either. Could it be genetic?
As our leaders are now pointing out, training is going slowly not just because they’re stupid, but because they’re lazy and cheap – they want us to provide free security indefinitely. Well I say, no more free ride for them! It’s past time we force-fed them some democracy – by listening to the 80% who want all foreign fighters out of Iraq. That’ll teach them.
For once, let’s stand up for ourselves and our interests – let’s take our toys and go home.
Who’s with me?
