Ok, now I am signing up for Ms. Palmieri’s seminar, knowing full well that my chances of escaping the plebeian hell of the blogosphere and making it all the way up to Media Nirvana are about as good as the chances of Howard “the Christ” Dean’s wife ever appearing with him again at any future campaign event.
Personally, I hope “the Christ” just says no and stays home in 2008—he can stay home in 2006 for that matter too, for all I care about that rube. Fricking loser. Give me Warner or give me (Her)seth!
Now, I would definitely cast my vote for Deans wife if she ran– a demure yet self possessed and obviously very intelligent woman, a physician, a caregiver. So, why is she married to this nut case who let his entire one chance at an upset to rival all upsets–even the historic Donkeytale thrashing of DHinMI in their classic live weblog Ultimate Fight (missed it? maybe because it appeared exclusively on my new blog of record The Donkeys Tale, which so far hasnt been read by anybody–except as a nonpharmaceutical cure for insomnia–and even then only by me) go down the tubes precisely because he was not well schooled enough in the arts of hog calling on national TV?
Everybody in Arkansas, including the Big Dog hisself knows its
“suuuuuuEEEEEEEE!”
not “RARRGHHH!”
You got to know how to play in the red states if you want to win, as opposed to being a highly principled, frozen stiff of a loser from Vermont or, may God help us, Massachusetts (again).
Anyway, I am now cautiously approaching Miss Palmieri to ask if she might be available for some private tutoring later on back in my hotel room.
” Um, no, not at all,” she is replying, businesslike as all get out. “This is TV punditry training not Arkansas Governor training—thats a different seminar and much, MUCH more expensive.”
She is looking down at my threadbare Levis and BooTrib teeshirt, her expression pointedly saying it all. I might as well not waste my time–or hers, ever again, on any matter.
“I aint sayin shes a gold digger….” I am singing softly under my breath, as I leave the seminar. I wonder if they offer any free karaoke at YKOS?
Face it dumbass. You will never be a pundit. You will never be Arkansas Governor. You will never be anything. You will never even make the frontpage of that second tier knockoff blog where you spend so much time tormenting your soul venting your already overvented spleen and completely wasting the few good years you have left.
Dont you have a life?
What the hell are you doing here in Vegas? You are nothing but an old anachronistic analog time piece set against all the future bigtime digital movers and shakers of a vast and powerful web-based mass political movement which easily rates the front pages of the New York Times and the Washington Post, yet hasnt to date accomplished a single damn thing of note except (1) outing a gay ex marine stud for hire turned fake urinalist, and (2) a book contract (a very unremarkable book at that) for a young ex soldier-turned-web-entrepreneur who seems to be morphing into a fey latino Donald Trump right before all our astonished eyes.
And where the hell is that fatwa guy? I came here expressly to attend his seminar “Deconstructing My Viewpoint For Idiots,” figuring it was right up my alley. Now I find the seminar lasts for thirty six weeks and he forces you to read every damn sentence! Cheeky a-hole!
There is just so much to do here I dont know where to begin…
Madman in the Marketplace and his liberal street fighters have a hospitality suite of their own downtown at the Meteor Blades Hotel and Casino (formerly known as the Union Plaza). Back in Meteor’s day those Teamsters knew how to party! Drinks on the house if I can beat MITM arm wrestling (but, alas he is one tough SOB) AND I will finally get to meet that Wilfred fellow. As soon as he comes out of the restroom, according to Mr. Marketplace. He keeps assuring me that Wilfred is going to reappear at any moment but he’s been in there a long time now, others have been going in and coming out, theres only one toilet in there and I don’t want to miss the next free laser light show under the canopy on Fremont Street…
Hey! KO! Over here brother! So tell me, what the hell are you up to these days?
Still blogging?
