OMG! We have more liberators marching into Iraq to protect our freedoms! George Bush’s awesome plan to win the war on terror has finally been adopted by an Islamic country, and a democracy at that! The Turks are coming! The Turks are coming!
SAMSUN, Turkey – Turkey’s military said it had sent ground troops into northern Iraq Thursday night in an operation aimed at weakening Kurdish militants there, the first confirmed ground incursion since the United States invaded Iraq in 2003.
The Turkish General Staff announced the action on its website on Friday. It gave no details of how many troops went or how long they would stay, and said only that they would return once goals had been achieved. Private NTV television reported 10,000 troops were involved and said they had pushed about six miles into Iraqi territory.
What great news! We really do have a coalition of the willing to fight the terrorists. Turkey has joined the fight against the evildoers, and we didn’t have to do a thing to convince them to take this glorious action. Bush and his generals should be ecstatic about now, I imagine. Right?
Rear Admiral Gregory Smith, a US military spokesman in Baghdad, said the operation was understood to be of “limited duration” and aimed at PKK fighters in the largely autonomous Kurdish region in northern Iraq.
“Turkey has given its assurances that it will do everything possible to avoid collateral damage to innocent citizens or Kurdish infrastructure,” Smith said in a statement. […]
A US State Department official said the land incursion was “not the greatest news”.
“A land operation is a whole new level,” Deputy Assistant Secretary of State Matthew Bryza told reporters in Brussels.
What? Admiral, don’t you want Turkey to stay as long as it takes to root out the terrorists and bring stability to Kurdistan, like we’re doing in the rest of Iraq? Don’t you want them to help in the war against Al Qaeda? I bet the PKK is really Al Qaeda in Kurdistan. I bet Osama talks to them every day on his secret scrambled satellite phone. Just ask the NSA. They’ll tell you. Please Admiral, don’t let Turkey leave.
And whatever you do, don’t let those weenies in the State Department mess things up for us. Maybe you should call the Vice President (you know that guy who heads up the Fourth Branch of our government, the one that let’s us torture people and send them to secret CIA prisons and great stuff like that) and get him to order Condi to fire Mr. “I’m an Assistant Secretary of State and you’re not” Byrza, or at least tell him to shut his pie hole and let the military forces of our two great Republics win the war. Why, I’ll bet in six months time the Kurds will be throwing flowers at the feet of their liberators, just like they did for us.
But whatever you do, don’t put such a damper on this. It’s a great day for the Iraqis and for America. Another democratic country has adopted the Bush doctrine of preventive war! Another ally in the War on Terror has some skin in the game, just like we do. I’d be popping the champagne bottles in the Green Zone about now if I was you.
Then again, maybe that’s not such a great idea. Might give the security detail boys of Blackwater the impression someone has opened fire on them, and we all know where that can lead. You better stick to beer for now. I’m sure the Turks would understand.
