The GOP is right about some things. Government can sometimes waste your tax dollars needlessly. For example, the Ruler of Kabul’s President of Afghanistan’s brother and “alleged” drug dealer is a bought and paid for CIA asset. How de-lovely!
KABUL, Afghanistan — Ahmed Wali Karzai, the brother of the Afghan president and a suspected player in the country’s booming illegal opium trade, gets regular payments from the Central Intelligence Agency, and has for much of the past eight years, according to current and former American officials. […]
The agency pays Mr. Karzai for a variety of services, including helping to recruit an Afghan paramilitary force that operates at the C.I.A.’s direction in and around the southern city of Kandahar, Mr. Karzai’s home.
Now before you go all “How could the Chosen One do this?” on me , this isn’t something the Kenyan Muslim Fascist Impostor in the White House decided to do one day. No, this policy of paying vast sums to a major dealer in the Afghan opium trade (allegedly) was begun under the administration of Darth Cheney the Greatest President evah! In other words, it’s another fine mess Obama inherited from his predecessor.
The financial ties and close working relationship between the intelligence agency and Mr. Karzai raise significant questions about America’s war strategy, which is currently under review at the White House.
The ties to Mr. Karzai have created deep divisions within the Obama administration. The critics say the ties complicate America’s increasingly tense relationship with President Hamid Karzai, who has struggled to build sustained popularity among Afghans and has long been portrayed by the Taliban as an American puppet. The C.I.A.’s practices also suggest that the United States is not doing everything in its power to stamp out the lucrative Afghan drug trade, a major source of revenue for the Taliban. […]
“If we are going to conduct a population-centric strategy in Afghanistan, and we are perceived as backing thugs, then we are just undermining ourselves,” said Maj. Gen. Michael T. Flynn, the senior American military intelligence official in Afghanistan.
Yes, backing thugs does look bad, especially when you’re only backing one set of thugs. Which leads me to the rest of the story. What’s going to be our new strategery in Afghanistan, going forward? Why, pay more thugs, of course, to not fight us. No, really. That’s it.
The US military commanders in Afghanistan are to be allowed to pay Taliban fighters who switch sides and renounce violence against the government in Kabul.
The new provision is included in a defence bill Barack Obama, the US president, will sign into law on Wednesday.
As they say in those Guinness Stout commercials: Brilliant! If you can’t beat them, just put them on the Company’s payroll. Which is another reason we need to keep paying Karzai’s brother. It’s because he’s our go between to all those Taliban leaders who might deign to take our bribes receive their fair share of America’s tax dollars:
Mr. Karzai also helps the C.I.A. communicate with and sometimes meet with Afghans loyal to the Taliban. Mr. Karzai’s role as a go-between between the Americans and the Taliban is now regarded as valuable by those who support working with Mr. Karzai, as the Obama administration is placing a greater focus on encouraging Taliban leaders to change sides.
So who cares if he’s involved in another line of business besides being a CIA whatever it is they call him? Don’t you believe in a little free enterprise?
These military and political officials say the evidence, though largely circumstantial, suggests strongly that Mr. Karzai has enriched himself by helping the illegal trade in poppy and opium to flourish. The assessment of these military and senior officials in the Obama administration dovetails with that of senior officials in the Bush administration.
“Hundreds of millions of dollars in drug money are flowing through the southern region, and nothing happens in southern Afghanistan without the regional leadership knowing about it,” a senior American military officer in Kabul said.
You now see how we will finally get health care reform in this country don’t you? We just all have to declare ourselves to be either members of Hamid Karzai’s immediate family with valuable information OR we need to join the Taliban. Because if it’s one thing I’ve learned is that if you want to get money or services from the American government for doing nothing, you need to join a radical political movement that wants to kill Americans, be a major player in the Opium trade (unfortunately not an option for most of us) or you have to be born into a powerful and corrupt political family (sadly, too late for me on that last one).
Hey, just ask George Bush and the Republican Party? It worked out pretty well for them and their friends. Just ask Big Oil. Or the Defense Industry. And let’s not forget Goldman Sachs (though I’m sure they wish we would).
I know, I know. It isn’t the most ethical way to go about obtaining health care for all Americans (or even some Americans) but in these times, if you want to get anywhere in this world, you have to lock your morals in some deep, dark place where they won’t bother you ever again. Like these guys.
So, who’s ready to join the Taliban and get your free money for not fighting the US military?*
* Offer subject to certain restrictions and conditions, and may be modified or revoked at any time by the Company. Please read the prospectus carefully before enlisting.
