As we all know, tomorrow is September 11th, which is sort of a Republican holiday/fundraiser. It can be celebrated in a variety of ways. This year, burning Korans seems to be in, but the truly sentimental can burn mosques. Less firestarter-happy people can give money to Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin, or attend an alarmist movie created by Newt Gingrich. It doesn’t matter exactly how you celebrate getting caught with our pants down nine years ago while the president read a book about a pet goat, as long as you remember that the Republicans need your support. It’s also important to mourn the fact that Rudy Guiliani didn’t win a single delegate in his presidential run and that Bernie Kerik is in jail. You can also mourn for the careers of Paul Wolfowitz and Scooter Libby, who were unjustly crucified by ungrateful liberals. This year we won’t be honoring Dick Cheney, though, as he remains in the hospital home, without a pulse.

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