Hey, we know Bush didn’t write his book, but at least he picked a great comedy ghost writer, one particularly good at satire. Want proof? Just read the following:
A presidential aide, Andrew Card, tells Bush that a second plane has hit. The president looks as though he has been paralysed by shock. For seven minutes he sits there before a group of children, immobile while America was under attack.
But Bush says he was thinking.
“I looked at the faces of the children in front of me. I thought about the contrast between the brutality of the attacks and the innocence of those children. Millions like them would soon be counting on me to protect them. I was determined not to let them down,” Bush writes.
Yes, I’ll just bet Bush was thinking (thinking? thinking!?) of all those millions of children he had to save. That’s why he went into Iraq and started a war that killed and maimed thousands of them (Oh, right. Muslim and Arab kids don’t count — nevermind).
Who knew Bush Lite was a secret Superhero in disguise?
I wouldn’t recommend actually buying the book, but maybe someone could post the best bits on the internet. We could all use a good laugh these days. Like these, for example:
“There is no textbook on how to steady a nation rattled by a faceless enemy,” the former president writes.
“I relied on instincts and background. My west Texas optimism helped me project confidence.
“Occasionally I spoke a little too bluntly, such as when I said I wanted Bin Laden ‘dead or alive’,” he added.
Bush spoke a little too bluntly? The man is a master of irony (not Bush, his ghost writer). And thank the Lord we don’t have to rely on his “instincts” or “West Texas optimism” anymore. I wonder if this little speech of his in 2002 on why we needed to take out Iraq…
Facing clear evidence of peril, we cannot wait for the final proof — the smoking gun — that could come in the form of a mushroom cloud.
… was based on his native instincts or based on his West Texas optimism? What do you think?
Ps. I wonder who in the GOP told Bush not to promote his book until AFTER the midterm elections because no one in the Republican party wanted voters reminded of his Presidency? Want to bet Karl “Turdblossom” Rove drew the short straw?
