It’s true. A gun sitting alone in some gun store never killed anyone (especially if it wasn’t loaded). They just get used as the best tool for the job, is all, the job being to maim or kill living beings. Let’s look at how well they were used this weekend for the purpose they are for which they are designed, shall we?
For example, if you are a teenage boy who wants to go to the mall and get the raw emotional impact that arcade shooting games just can’t duplicate, well guns are what you need to fulfill your dream:
MUSKOGEE, Okla. — Police have arrested two teenage boys in connection with a weekend shooting at an Oklahoma shopping mall that left one person dead and five others wounded.
Muskogee police Capt. Chad Farmer says the 16- and 17-year-old boys were arrested Monday after officers found them hiding in a house.
But I don’t want to pick only on Red State country like Oklahoma. Not when you can go clubbing in The Marxist Republic of San Francisco and meet the same fate:
A 26-year-old San Francisco man was killed and three others suffered life-threatening injuries in a shooting early Sunday morning just south of the city’s Financial District, police said.
Blair Henderson was shot as he and several of his friends went to retrieve their car from a parking lot near Second and Minna streets, according to accounts that Henderson’s mother, Regina Mikell, heard from witnesses.
Mikell said she believed that Henderson had planned to go to a nightclub with friends Saturday night. She did not believe that any of his friends had been shot.
And what better way is there to work out your anger management issues than a little road rage shooting spree? Not to mention how much more interesting it made the Friday morning commute for the good folks of Montgomery County Pennsylvania:
A preliminary hearing has been set for the Gilbertsville man allegedly involved in a Friday morning commute shooting on U.S. Route 422, Upper Providence Township. […]
Yannarell faces various charges, including criminal attempted homicide, aggravated assault and reckless endangerment. […]
An unidentified female victim, 31, of Pottstown, was travelling eastbound at approximately 7:15 a.m., when she noticed another driver swerving in and out of traffic behind her.
The victim moved to the right lane in order to avoid Yannarell, but the suspect passed her vehicle on the right shoulder, firing a shot into her vehicle. […][
The victim was transported to the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania, where she was treated for a gunshot wound.
But, let’s not let our emergency respondents miss out on the fun, shall we? After all they deserve the same chance to be shot at in the line of duty as regular Janes and Joes:
VALLEJO — As Vallejo firefighters were tending to a 19-year-old Vallejo man who was shot in the head Sunday night they heard more gun shots being fired nearby.
The man was shot after two men confronted him in front of a relative’s home about 8:40 p.m. in the 100 block of Mark Avenue, Vallejo Police Lt. Abel Tenorio said.
As Vallejo Fire Department firefighters were loading the victim onto a helicopter, they heard three more gun shots fired from no more than a block away, Tenorio said. […]
“There was a group of people in the area watching, and firefighters said they heard three shots coming from the crowd,” Tweedy said.
“It was a pretty tense situation … We haven’t really encountered something like that before,” Tweedy added.
But for its full out entertainment value, nothing beats New Orleans during Mardi Gras season:
NEW ORLEANS —
The number from Saturday night’s shooting incident has moved up to eight people injured. […]New Orleans police said the shooting happened in the 700 block of Canal Street around 9:15 p.m.
Investigators said the shooting could be the result of an argument involving a 17-year-old that happened in the same area on the last day of Mardi Gras. […]
Also among the injured were a 15-year-old girl; two 21-year-old men and a 20-year-old man, all with gunshot wounds to the leg. A 25-year-old had a gunshot wound to the foot and a 50-year-old was shot in the shoulder.
I ask you, isn’t the risk of bullets flying around (and sometimes into) your body the ultimate in Extreme Sports? And isn’t America the land of opportunity? Well, where else can the thrill seekers of today, those who dream of firing live ammunition at real people have their dream come true (unless, of course they join the US military and explore the wonders of Southwest Asia) if not in America. By God, someone from the NRA should be using this in an ad campaign to attract new, younger members.
Heck, if shooting people in the face is good enough sport for Dick Cheney …
