United States Government or Big Brother: After Dark Reality Show? You Be The Judge.

Having trouble understanding the ins and outs of DC politics?

Can’t figure out why our august Senators, powerful executive branch players, hard-working Representatives and the pundits who cover them cannot seem to get anything right?

Did you have high hopes for the Obama administration, only to see them dashed to pieces on the rocks of bureaucratic incompetence and infighting?

I have been feeling your pain, Bunky. It’s so confusing !!!

Well…cheer up. I experienced a “Eureka!!!” moment while surfing the 1000-tentacled tube monster in search of something…anything…even remotely interesting last night, and now I understand it all.

Read on for more.

Are you familiar with the CBS non-reality show Big Brother? it is apparently an ongoing series where they assemble a cast of 20-something state-college types in a house and film them 24/7 as they endlessly scheme and flatulize over who will and who won’t be kicked out of the house. I suppose that the last asshole standing is the winner, but I will never find out because…well, because I don’t really give a shit. These are the same middle-class fools from whom I ran as fast as my little legs would carry me after I left high school, and their stories are simply so pre-written…marriage, eventual corpulence, unsatisfactory sex and equally unsatisfactory progeny, divorces, crushing debt, continuous worry and its inevitable partner unhappiness, pharmacological carousels of every sort imaginable and of course those perennial favorites death and taxes…that it is not worth any time whatsoever to watch them wriggle under the microscope of the hypnomedia for the delectation of similar sleeple far and wide across this great land of ours, Omertica. (Blessed be its real name.)

Now no doubt the CBS version of the series is edited down to catch all of the juicy parts…as juicy as the Granny No-No censors will allow to pass through their sex sieves of course, because we do not want to alienate any potential buyers of Omertican shitgoods and pisservices, now do we? But the longer daily Showtime cable version is less edited towards interesting moments and apparently more edited with an eye to suggestive sexual situations and an ongoing sluggish drone of complaint among various groups of contestants.

“He said this to Contestant X.”

“No!!!”

“Yes. And he’s a two-faced poopy head because he said this to Contestant Y!!!”

“Really? No way!!!”

“Yes. And he’s hustling Contestant Z in order to fulfill his scheme of getting you and Contestant Q kicked off the show this very week.”

“Why I oughta…”

And on and on for the better part of three hours. Or so I guess. I tuned in a couple of times over a few hours and the same shit was happening every time. Same shit, different group, similar room. ZZZZZzzzzzzz…

Now in itself this is not very surprising. Although I have never managed to watch any non-reality show for more than about 6 minutes…usually for a much shorter time, like say 12 seconds…given the difference in visuals among their various settings the actual content of the programs is almost identical. Politics reduced to an easily manageable size. Who will most successfully assemble an ad hoc compromise group in order to dominate in the short term, and next week another hustle will present itself as a survival necessity. But the other shows in their shorter versions….remember, this one is three hours long…focus mostly on more visceral scenes like women in ratty makeshift thongs trying to pound open a coconut with a rock or Las Vegas bimbo-types being romanced by bachelors who all look like the male half of the singing act The Carpenters at 28. (What was his name again? Richard? Mookie? Patience? I forget. Didn’t he become kinda corpulent eventually as well? So it goes, I guess.)

Anyway, the Big Brother: After Dark version really brought it all home to me.

These State College/Junior College/Mediocre College types that populate the show?

They are the same kinds of people who populate the offices and corridors of our government, up and down the line from Washingtoon DeeCeeLand through Albany NY, Montgomery AL and right on down to the Podunk Board of Aldermen and the School Board of Levittown PA.

Bet on it.

The salt of the earth.

Low sodium version, of course.

Instead of being wrapped in blankets and occasionally flashing their pubes for the camera…

They are wrapped in suits and bare their pubes in secret, shameful ways, all hidden from the prying eyes of their constituents for fear of being kicked out of their own “house”. The Catbird Seat House.

Saaaay!!! Isn’t that John Carpenter? I mean…Mookie? Richard? Oh…,you know who I mean, right? That guy?

Or…is it John Ritter? (Sorry…I get so confused by these stingless little WASPS. They all look alike, dontcha know…)

Anyway…my point here is…how can you continue to take any of them seriously?

Seriously, folks. Up and down the line, from Big Brother: The TV Series to Big Brother: The Permanent Government.

HOW CAN YOU CONTINUE TO WATCH THESE SHOWS!!!???

It is beyond my understanding, that’s for sure.

The only real solution(s)?

NEWSTRIKE!!!

MEDIASTRIKE!!!

CULTURESTRIKE!!!

VAYA!!!

But NOOOOOoooo…

Almost all of you will be happily lapping up Big Brother: The PermaGov Years in its daily Olbermann/Maddow/PBS/CBS/NBC/ABC/NY Times/Washington Post/Newsweek iterations as soon as you can get to the nearest purveyor of reality filth.

May as well watch Big Brother: After Dark for all the good it’s going to do you.

At least the contestants are better looking.