Finally, we have undisputable evidence that George Bush has completely lost it. Not that such an item comes as a shock to many while the remainder are probably asking how can one lose what he never had it in the first place?
Here goes:
According to multiple corroborative sources, Bush has become so rigidly scripted, now even in his private conversations, that this turn has alarmed even his closest associates. But nobody can agree on what can be done about it since, after all, George Bush, is the one and only decider.
In a phone call this month to Germany’s Chancellor Angela Merkel, (since she will no longer meet with him in person due to an aversion to Bush’s reaching out and touching someone tendency), anything Merkel inquired about was responded to by The Groper with a robotic:
“It’s a different word since 9/11, Angie baby.”
He then followed every statement of this with a rousing rendition of:
“Angie, Angie, when will those clouds all disappear?, Angie, Angie, where will it lead us from here?, with no loving in our souls and no money in our coats, you can’t say were satisfied, but Angie, Angie, you can’t say we never tried…”
Nobody has been able to confirm if any member of The Rolling Stones has ever supplied Bush with a blood transfusion but, if so, the betting is on Keith Richards.
All this corresponds to reports by unnamed White House staff about shrieking sounds emanating from the West Wing presidential bedroom where First Lady Laura Bush was heard objecting about something, with the Commander-In-Chief mechanically stating over and over:
“Darling, c’mon now, stay the course” until one final “uhhhhhhhh, ssstttaaayyy ttthhheee cccooouuurrrssseee.”
was overheard. Less than one hour later,
“It’s hard work, it’s hard work, it’sssss hhhaaarrrddd wwwooorrrkkk.”
echoed through the presidential bedroom windows and was heard all the way on Pennsylvania Avenue. We apparently know now why this President ‘retires’ at 9 pm. and why his spouse self-describes as a desperate housewife.
Then, when Bush visited Walter Reed Army Hospital, he repeatedly saluted and stated this to members of the quadraplegic wing:
“Jonesy, you’re doing a heckuva job.. Smithy, you’re doing a heckuva job…”
Upon entering the paraplegic unit, aides couldn’t stop him from shouting out:
“We will win unless you quit.”
Recently pressed by members of the media about the November Democratic congressional takeover, Bush would only say and say again:
“My generals have advised me to send more troops to Congress in order to turn the tide back my way.”
Most surprising was the episode last week where Bush met with Ann Bloater, Bill Orally, Sean Insanity and every question, even the most mildest softball query was rebuffed with a caustic and repeated:
“you don’t want the terrorists to win, do you?”
When Hannity offered:
“on your side, on your side big guy,”
Bush kept saying.
“No, you get on your side, you get on your side…”
The only change in the pattern was when Bush took Orally aside and asked:
“hey, is that loofah line really a chick magnet?”
