Because sometimes we all need a laugh!
Please – do not recommend!
There are more important stories for the Rec List – and this is too long for Froggy Bottom Cafe! Found this on another site I visit…with due credit to Shining Woman for sharing it there!
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Another New Living concept from Urban Development, Inc.
Urban Development and Urban Ranching Development are completely owned subsidiaries of Billybobclayco Mogul Investments
Foreword
Raising dust bunnies can be a rewarding experience if approached with the right attitude. On the other hand, the hard work and long hours can destroy a persons ood humor if one is not sincerely committed to giving your herd your very best efforts. Unlike many other endeavors, the care of dust bunnies cannot be pursued half-heartedly. Your best efforts will be rewarded with happy, healthy dust bunnies; less will yield a surly, sickly mob of filth. Better not to try at all than to condemn young innocent bunnies to poor health and mistreatment. That said, let’s get you equipped to do the job right!
Choosing a proper pasture
The three most important things in any new endeavor are location, location and location. This is also true in the world of dust bunnies.
Your dust bunnies need space to roam freely, but this space must not be disturbed by frequent traffic, winds or cleaning. Protected spaces, generally out of direct light and smoothly floored with tile or, best of all, quality hardwood, are prime real estate for bunny grazing. Under beds, sofas, in corners and behind doors are all likely spaces for bunnies. If you find a congenial location, you can be assured that your bunny herd will grow in health and vigor.
CARPETS WILL KILL YOUR BUNNIES! There’s no easy way to say this. Bunnies trapped on carpet cannot move freely with the air currents and will waste away, slowly losing their very essence until they actually fade away into nothing. There is little you can do except make sure that no bunny in your care ever strays onto carpet. Bunnies are not that bright. They need your guidance. They find carpets almost magnetic in their allure. A bunny will stick to a carpet tenaciously, unknowingly clinging to its own death. Keep your bunnies away from carpets, rugs and the laundry you may carelessly let fall to the floor. While carpets are the worst, any cloth is likely to severely harm any bunny that it touches. Don’t let this happen to your herd.
Training your dust bunnies
There are those who say that dust bunnies can’t be trained. This is nonsense. Anyone with normal portions of patience and intelligence can train dust bunnies. There just isn’t that much that dust bunnies can do and so the behavioral differences between even the best trained bunnies and those that have been raised with no discipline at all are minuscule at most. Still this is no excuse to raise ill-mannered bunnies that run free throughout the house. They are easily taught to remain in their grazing area and even the dullest bunny will stay close to the herd after witnessing an encounter between a roving mate and an angry vacuum cleaner.
Brooms are another matter. All bunnies have a natural tendency to playfully cling to brooms of all sorts, natural and synthetic fiber alike. While this behavior cannot be eliminated, it must not be encouraged. Many a playful bunny has made that final trip to the dustbin from a foolish urge to leave the safety under the bed and dash to hug a broom sweeping by. You must be vigilant. Broom-broken bunnies will pounce en masse onto a carelessly dropped hair brush.
Dust bunnies and other pets: peaceful coexistence
Dust bunnies are friendly and sociable by nature. Generally, they love pets of all kinds: dogs, cats, hamsters, even children. Some pets in the dust bunny environment promote herd growth. For instance, Angora bunnies are most likely to be found where long-haired cats roam. As a rule, the presence of cats will promote a softer, finer structure in your dust bunnies. Dogs, on the other hand, seem to attract bunnies with stiffer, pricklier pelts. Why this is remains just one more dust bunny mystery.
A word on mixing children and dust bunnies. It certainly has been done successfully by many people, but care must be taken to make sure that the children are not too fastidious. Also they must not be allowed to eat the dust bunnies. That kind of incident can traumatize a herd beyond any hope of recovery.
By the numbers
Keeping your herd healthy and vital is easy if you follow the numbers: temperature, humidity and wind velocity.
Keep the temperature between 0° C and 70° C. Colder makes them sluggish and hotter leads to spontaneous combustion.
Humidity is very important in influencing the behavior of the bunny herd. They will tend to clump more tightly during periods of low humidity due to static cling. High humidity slows both growth and movement. Keep the relative humidity between 65 and 75 per cent for best results.
The dangers of high wind velocity are probably obvious. Sometimes the problems of air stagnation are not recognized, however. A bunny herd in stagnant air will not graze and will not grow. Ideally, the air currents should bring fresh materials to the herd continuously. For herds located in corner areas, low-level, constant air movement on the order of 1 to 3 kilometers per hour is ideal. For herds located in other spaces, under beds for instance, not bounded by walls, air currents of 1 to 5 kilometers per hour with random directional changes will provide excellent grazing.
Culling, thinning and harvesting
Culling, thinning and harvesting all contribute to the health of your bunny herd. Culling removes those bunnies that are too tightly or too loosely formed to achieve the ideal resilient and ethereal density characteristic of high quality bunnies. A perfect bunny is feather light but of sufficient structure as to rebound completely from a gentle but firm pressure. Even if your herd has no culls, the overall density of the population must not be so high that individual bunnies begin to clump with their neighbors. Clumps reduce the total herd surface area and thus reduce the aggregation capacity of the herd. Bunnies should be harvested when they reach maturity; past their peak, bunnies will lose their rotund shape and resiliency. Bunnies beyond maturity should be culled as soon as possible.
DB2K+
The Dust Bunny 2000 Plus (DB2K+) project has as its goal the development of a superior breed of dust bunny for the next century and beyond. As the human race stands poised on the edge of space, it is the self-assumed responsibility of the project to create a dust bunny worthy of inclusion in our greatest adventure. Only breeders with the highest standards and achievements are active participants in DB2K+. Nevertheless, the rest of us can watch and support their efforts to breed the ultimate bunny.
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Everyone be safe where ever you may be this weekend.
