Category: Wankers

Wanker of the Day: Rush Limbaugh

Rush Limbaugh doesn’t know how, but he’s certain that the announcement that NASA has found flowing water on Mars will be used to advance a leftist agenda, probably on climate change. Also, he never gets tired of being right, even…

Wanker of the Day: Dick Cheney

I really don’t know how (most of us) survived having a complete madman be our de facto president for more than four years, but that’s what we somehow endured between 2001 and sometime near the end of 2005 when Dick…

Outrage of the Day

I was kind of busy yesterday so I didn’t have time to comment on President Obama’s decision to rename Mt. McKinley or the resulting outrage from conservatives. I think the following explains how dumb this outrage is. The mountain came…

Ted Nugent’s Hot Brass

I noted earlier that the main reason a lot of male conservatives were defending Megyn Kelly is because they’re deluded enough to think that defending her might help them sleep with her. Well, Ted Nugent isn’t defending her, but he…

Wanker of the Day: Sen. Mike Lee

I could explain this to you in great detail, but the short answer is that, no, Sen. Mike Lee of Utah will not be able to use the so-called Nuclear Option to repeal the Affordable Care Act. Even if things…

GOP Gay Panic: Get. A. Grip.

I spent last week watching the completely predictable temper tantrum on the right about marriage equality (which is certainly a better term and more accurate term than “gay marriage”). Mike Huckabee went all Biblical, promising to “call down fire from Heaven”. Roy Moore, the shame of Alabama, had a complete meltdown. Over in Texas, the state’s attorney general is encouraging county clerks to ignore the law. And here in Philadelphia, the Daily News granted weekly columnist Christine Flowers a second column after her mash note to Ann Coulter (SOMEONE’S got a HUGE crush on Annie) to air a thoroughly unhinged screed that (again) illustrates her obsession with gay sex. Skimming the dissents from Scalia, Alito, Thomas, and Roberts is like drinking a big glass of warm, sour milk: the anger, especially from that hypocritical criminal goon Scalia, is palpable.

Taken together, it’s an enormous freakout on the right wing. And ya know, I just don’t get it. I really don’t Why the FUCK do you care what two consenting adults do in the bedroom? No one’s inviting you to join in. No one’s forcing you to look at gay porn. No one’s forcing you to marry someone of the same sex. In the case of Christine Flowers, no one’s interested in you PERIOD. What is your FUCKING problem, people? What is your major malfunction, that with all the real problems in the world -including a massacre in South Carolina, Greece’s looming exit from the Eurozone, ISL and other assorted religious dickheads blowing people up all over the middle east, California running dry (with huge implications for the cost of food), and everything else- you wake up everyday flipping out about two dudes or two women getting married.

And for that matter, who gives a rat’s ass about your opinion? Society has moved on, by a long shot. Nobody cares anymore. It’s a non-issue. And by being a bunch of butthurt, bitter babies all you are doing is making yourselves look like assholes. Which, to be honest, is what you are. Marriage equality is not about you. Stop with the desperate bid for attention.

Wanker of the Day: Stu Bykofsky

Look, there’s no simple way to calculate which countries are the most technologically innovative, I’ll grant that. But Bloomberg gave it a try by creating a “Global Innovation Index,” and what they discovered is that Scandinavia does quite well. If…