I hope everybody had a great day, today. I did, the fact I can spend it with family is always the best Xmas present. But I have always been bothered by this so called War on Christmas which to no suprise that it orginated by Faux News John Gibson. But the truth is it was nothing more than he and his zombie ditto heads inventing a war where there is none. It is nothing more but to surplant a subliminal delusional idea that this war on Christmas is a war on Christians, and that Christians are oppressed in this country. I am hoping he was visited by the 3 ghosts and infomed him of the reality that Christians are in the majority, but I doubt it.
But this really pissed me off, because this war has even gone so far that the only proper saying is Merry Christmas because anything other than that would “offend Christ.” That is the inhert danger when someone like Gidson plants these ideas in someone’s head. Take the person who wrote this in The Charlotte Observer Forum:
If someone greets me with “Feliz Navidad” or anything else other than “Merry Christmas” this season, I will kindly answer them with “Merry Christmas.” I truly believe to say anything else would offend Christ.
This made up war are coming from the same conservative and evangelical complainers:
“A secular and atheistic jihad,” cries a guy named David Huntwork on the GOPUSA Web site.
“Frightening,” declares Bill O’Reilly.
So it is time for a little history lesson of the magic of Christmas and how the multitude of traditions from ancient to have made their way to our modern way of celebrating Christmas.
Christmas was first celebrated in ancient Rome, around 336 AD, and their actually lived a real Santa Claus, Saint Nicholas. Christmas was a popular Christian holiday until John Calvin et al came up with the crazy idea that celebrating Christmas also “offended God”, during the Protestant Reformation of the 1500s. It “offended God” because it included pagan customs into the religious observance and many Protestants chose not to celebrate it at all, including the American Puritans. Maybe it would be a good thing thing if modern day evangelicals would do the same thing time NOW. So we, like the rest of colonial America, could celebrate Christmas. During colonial American many celebrated Christmas by hunting, dancing, and feasting, while city streets filled with enthusiastic celebrants.
It was until Henry Livingston Jr’s. “A Visit from St. Nicholas” (popularly known as “Twas the Night Before Christmas”) Christmas became a family holiday.
Other “No Thanks to Poker in the Ass Fundi’s” Favorite Traditions
Christmas Greenery: Ancient Egyptians used palm branches, while northern cultures preferred evergreens, to brighten the home during the winter. Continuing a custom that dates back to the 16th century, German immigrants were the first Americans to purchase and decorate Christmas trees, typically in the pine family.
Saint Nick: Today’s Santa Claus, is based on a real saint who lived in Turkey in the 4th century. Saint Nicholas was renowned for his generosity and love of children. According to historical sources, he would drop coins down the chimney to preserve his anonymity and the dignity of his recipients.
Mistletoe Kissing: The myth surrounding mistletoe dates back to the eighth century when the Vikings believed that mistletoe could raise humans from the dead. This goes back to the resurrection of Balder, the god of the summer sun. His mother, Frigga, the goddess of love and beauty, like a mother “went to all of the elements — air, fire, water and earth, as well as to all of the animals and plants — and asked them not to kill Balder.” And some things never change no matter what century it is, poor Balder was teased for being a “mama’s boy.” And when that happens, their is that one bully who will make the boy’s life a living hell and Balder’s bully was Loki.
The mistletoe grows on the tree it attaches itself to, and therefore has no roots of its own and could not be affected by Frigga’s request. Loki made a poisoned dart with mistletoe, and tricked the blind brother of Balder, Hoder, into shooting the arrow that killed Balder. Frigga was heart broken, but it was a tear from Frigga that changed the red mistletoe berries to white, raising Balder from the dead. Frigga then reversed mistletoe’s bad reputation, and kissed everyone who walked underneath it out of gratitude for getting her son back.
So, if they want a war, fine, THEREFORE THIS IS WHAT I PROPOSE:
From this day fourth, all future Christmas for those who continue to support uberfundamentalist and really belive there is a “war on christians” –
I THERE BY DECLARE THEY CAN NO LONGER:
- PARTICIPATE IN THE PAGAN RITUAL OF GIFT GIVING;
- PARTICIPATE IN THE GERMAN PRE-CHRISTIAN TRADITION OF TREE DECORATING;
- MENTION THE NAME SANTA CLAUS, ST. NICK OR ANYTHING RELATED TO SANTA CLAUS; OR
- ANY THING THAT ORGINATED BEFORE THE BIRTH OF CHRIST. THIS IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD, THIS ALL DONE IN THE NAME OF GOD AND WILL MAKE SURE YOU ARE NOT OFFENDING CHRIST.
AND FROM THIS DAY FOURTH THIS WILL NOW BE PART OF A NEW CHRISTMAS TRADITION FOR ALL UBERFUNDAMENTALIST.
So I hope you enjoy your future of your soon to be boring Christmas. And if you are a parent, all I have to say, I would hate to be in your shoes, when you have to explain to your child why Santa is not coming or the reason they are not getting any presents and why they have to return any gift they receive. Some how using the excuse “it would offend Christ” since it was a Pagan tradition will not fly.
Don’t like it? Then:
GET YOUR WARPPED DELUSIONAL FUNDAMENTALIST IDEAS OUT OF MY CHRISTMAS!!!
Note: If you notice I mentioned Henry Livingston as the author of the classic poem instead of mentioning the credited author Clement Clarke Moore. The true story behind “Twas the Night Before Christmas” is about plagerism. The poem was written in 1823, which depicted the Santa we have come to know and love today, a cherubic and jolly fellow. The poem was published anonymously in the New York Sentinel. Livingston died in 1828, five years after the poem was published. Twenty years later, Moore, a religious fundi and a straitlaced academician, took advantage of Livingston’s unknown reputation and decided to take credit for writing the poem. Fundis back then are no different from fundis of today. But recently notable forensic literary critic Don Foster catches this fundi fraud and lets us know who the real author of the poem. So, lets try to correct ourselves next time we mention the author of this classic poem.