Why I Do What I Do

Many people have asked me why I do all the volunteer work, civil rights work, and political work that seem to consume my every waking moment. Most times I say “I do it because someone has to and it might as well be me.” While this is true, it comes no where close to explaining the true reasons I do what I do. I do this because I am so full of fear, pain, and rage that I must speak out or die.

I have come close to taking my own life several times in the past. The most recent was after the devastating show of hatred in Texas in 2005 for the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Community. I went through a bout of deep depression that almost cost me everything and that cost is way too high. I have come out on top of it and will never sink that low again without seeking help from others. I have made a difference in my short time on this earth and must strive always to do more.

I do what I do to honor those who came before me and fought for Equal Rights and Freedom for All People. I honor the heros of the different rights movements throughout history and the many unsung heros who had their back and walked, marched, voted, and died without ever being known or remembered for their part in the struggle. I do this to honor the young who cannot speak for themselves and for those who enjoy the rights without ever having lifted a finger to help. I even do it for those who have aided the enemy in their campaign of evil and hatred by their indifference, support or even votes. Their support of the evil of the religious right and the Repugnant Party stems for a deep-seated self hatred that I can never understand or cure.

I do this for the unborn children so that they do not have to suffer the hatred on a scale such as I have. I work so that small children are not taught to hate someone different. I take vacations to attend training seminars and conventions so that the next generation can be free. I spend every spare dime on campaigns and charities so that women can have a choice when it comes to their own bodies. I volunteer many hours on campaigns so men and women can go to work without fear of being fired for whom they love. I vote for certain candidates to insure that if and when our men and women are ever sent to war again it will not be one based on lies and small men’s egos. I do it so none need contracts a disease that is deadly and devastating not only to the one afflicted but to their family and loved ones also. I continue to dream, write, design, protest and lose sleep so that the next generation can have a better place to call home than I do.

I cries tears of rage and frustration and then put them aside to go forth and do battle yet again for those who either cannot or will not do it. I cry for the loves I have lost, the friends I have buried, and the freedoms stolen. I sound out my anger, my frustration and fear to arouse the masses to battle and also win the war against arrogance, injustice, intolerance, bigotry and sheer stupidity.

Will this battle ever be over? I have to admit I do not think it will ever end. There will always be arrogant and prejudice people. The arrogant who crave power for powers sake will always find someone to hate and use the ignorance of the populace to attack these people to gain control. I can only hope to educate as many as possible so that the effects become less in each generation. My efforts might only be remembered by those close to me but they will live on in the smile of a child who can live and be free. I don’t need accolades or honors. I just want to know that when I die I have done all I can to leave this place a better world than when I came into it. I will go out on a limb and ask anyone who reads this to strive to do the same. We can make a difference but we have to work together to do this. I cannot ask anyone to do as much as I do or to let this consume all their free time. I only ask that you do as much as you can to make the world the best it can be.

IT’S GENETIC