is the title of a piece in tomorrow’s Washington Post Magazine by Gene Weingarten.  It begins

I recently tried to find Jesus Christ, but I couldn’t get past his attorney.

Mr. Christ, 53, lives in Washington. Though he was born Peter R. Phillips, he began calling himself Jesus Christ about 15 years ago — as a sign, he contends, of his intense devotion to his religion. Many local governments recognize common-law name changes. Indeed, his U.S. passport, Social Security card and D.C. driver’s license all read “Jesus Christ.”

 Now that Dave Barry (a fellow Haverfordian, ’69) is on sabbatical from his column,  Weingarten has assumed the role of providing the humor.  Normally I don’t find his columns all that funny.   I think you will agree with me that this one is.  

Caveat  – as always, I  suggest you read the entire piece here.  
The rest of the piece involves giving he background of several legal cases, including the fact that the person in question needed to get an official change of name issued by a Court in DC.  In the process he consulted a man named Fogel who referred him to a lawyer named A. P. Pishevar.  The rest of the article is the interchanges between Weingarten and Pishevar.   Here are some examples:

Me: So, let me understand this. Jesus Christ, acting on the advice of a Jew, hired a Muslim to represent him?

Here’s some more:

Me: You filed an appeal of the lower court ruling and won. The appeals court has now directed the lower court to reconsider the case, right?

Pishevar: Right.

Me: So your client went to the court once, and was refused, and now he is coming back to the court. That would be . . .

Pishevar:

Me: You have to work with me here. Coming back, to the court, again, one more time. That would be . . .

Pishevar: A second coming. Yes.

It turns out the gentleman in question is, unfortunately, not a carpenter, but he is a bus driver for developmentally disabled people which allows Weingarten to assert

Me: He delivers people!

Weingarten is even able to carry on the concept of the dialogue when talking about the man’s residence:

Me: According to the court records, Mr. Christ lives in my neighborhood. I went to the address, but the building was completely gutted, undergoing restoration.

Pishevar: That’s correct.

Me: It is being resurrected.

Pishevar: Okay.

I think that’s enough.  You really ought to go read the entire piece.  I hope no one is too offended.

And totally off topic, the magazine’s main piece, it’s cover story, is a profile of Howard Dean entitled Return of the Angry Man.  But that piece is not as funny as this.

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