How many more goddamn times are we going to have to be subjected to this nonsense:

The US Government is warning of a possible Al Qaeda call to attack American online financial services but it says there is no evidence to suggest the effort could cause harm.

—snip—

The Department of Homeland Security has confirmed an alert has been distributed but has said there is no reason to believe the threat was credible.

So if it isn’t a credible threat, then here’s something novel – don’t friggin tell us.

Seriously, what ass backwards thinking is it when every time a “non-credible” terror threat is issued, we have to hear about it, but when a threat so motherfucking credible that the entire world is warning us, our intelligence community is requesting urgent meetings with our National Security Advisor and we should be truly scared as all hell, all we get is this:

Bush reportedly heard the briefer out and replied: “All right. You’ve covered your ass, now.”

Sorry, but that dog won’t hunt anymore. Even for those who still stock up on duct tape and hide under their beds at the thought of dirty brown men issuing threats from thousands of miles away, that whole “Code Red” thing back in August ruined any shred of credibility that may have still been left for those who are (1) not colorblind and (2) not willing to buy a bridge in Brooklyn if it were offered up to them.

We all know how “credible” the Department of Homeland Security is when it comes to actual credible threats like, oh, maybe a Hurricane that the entire country saw coming for weeks. And we certainly know how great our vaunted financial institutions are at keeping their customer’s private information secure.

Really – it shouldn’t take an accountant to call bullshit on this already. Especially when I am paid to be an accountant, not report the news. So those who are “responsibly” reporting that We the People shouldn’t be worried about the latest “booga-booga” but will gleefully lap it up as though they were Rush Limbaugh awaiting a new shipment of Viagra should hang their heads in shame. Because, you know, there isn’t anything important going on in Iraq, or in Afghanistan, or with our voting machines, or with US citizens being tracked and rated for terror risk of traveling without our knowledge.

In what bizarro world do we live in when our own “homeland security” agencies can’t even protect themselves from someone with fake ID or that there is no concern to protect our power plants, railways, airplane cargo holds or ports but they will trot out any bullshit line – even while caveating it as not credible? Where else do you see a focus on “fighting terrorism” not involve heavy coordination between law enforcement and intelligence agencies? Or when people with expertise in Arabic are fired from the military because (oh-the HORROR!!!) they are gay?

Oh, wait, I forgot – the gays are really the threat to our society.

Please. Spare me the histrionics. That goes for the media wankers and whores, the shamefully inept government officials, the talking meatsticks and the yellow elephants who gleefully show their sub-50 IQs with what is the closest thing we will see to modern day Scarlet Letters.

Just do your friggin jobs. All of you. And don’t tell us about it. I don’t broadcast every time that a client gives me wrong tax information. So for all of our sakes, just shut your fucking pie holes already. We don’t care. We don’t want to hear it. And frankly, it is demeaning to our intelligence.

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