Bug Bomb Tom
(with apologies to Jimmy Dean)
(Bug Bomb, Bug Bomb)
Every mornin’ front nine you could see him drive
He shot par for six and won $245
Kinda narrow in the shoulder and broad in the hip
And everybody knew no mulligans slipped from Bug Bomb
(Bug Bomb, Bug Bomb) Bug Bomb Tom (Bug Bomb)
(if you want to hear the midi tune also, you can go here. )
It was Sugarland, Texas that Tom called home
He just grifted the towns and played the phones
He sure had a touch, knew how to play a lie
And if you could stroke a ball, you just might buy Bug Bomb
A woman was dead `cept for a machine
Then he started a fight jumped into the scene
And the cash did flow into his huge red hands
To try to keep this woman from the Promised Land – Bug Bomb
(Bug Bomb, Bug Bomb) Bug Bomb Tom (Bug Bomb)
Then came the day while on the back nine
When the `ol duffer hacked and then started lyin’
People were swearin’ `bout transgressions past
And everybody thought that he’d shilled his last – `cept Tom
Through the mirrors and smoke of this self made swell
Stalked a whinin’ man and the reps paid hell
Grabbing saggin’ members, makin’ threats on the phone
And like a missed par three, he just stood there and moaned – Bug Bomb
(Bug Bomb, Bug Bomb) Bug Bomb Tom (Bug Bomb)
And through all of the stink he called almighty above
Then a senator yelled out “I won’t lift a glove!”
And the Redmen scrambled from a would-be grave
But there was nothing left of the money they gave – Bug Bomb
Well, the hacks and climbers they finally left town
When there came the crumble and the fall of this clown
With the jokes and hash squelched for all time
Everybody knew it was the end of the line for Bug Bomb
(Bug Bomb, Bug Bomb) Bug Bomb Tom (Bug Bomb)
Now they never revisited that worthless shit
They’d lost all their marbles supporting the twit
These few words are written `bout that man:
“At the bottom of all slime lies the Bug bomb Man” – Big Tom
