It’s come to my attention that the Hate America crowd has taken to the airwaves, pushing such foreign concepts as Pilates and Tai Bo, in an effort to wipe out our Sacred Flab.
They must be stopped. Paunch made America great. As we gather for our grease laden 4th of July Barbeques, we must take a solemn
Pledge of Allegiance to the Flab.
I pledge allegiance
to the Flab
of the United States of America
and to the consumption
from which it stems
One Nation, overweight,
with mustard and relish for all.
