I have to admit that I’d never given Mallard Fillmore a second thought until I saw that Maryscott O’Connor had said this when promoting Duckerford B. Hayes to the front page on My Left Wing.

(Because I loathe Mallard Fillmore with every fibre of my being. – promoted by Maryscott O’Connor)

Now, there are comics I dislike because they are, you know, lame and not funny. Offhand, I can’t think of any that I “hate”, but maybe that’s because I just haven’t been paying enough attention. In my mental filing system, I had Mallard Fillmore in the same box as Marmaduke because A) it starts with M, and B) I never read either of them. But, after some quick research, I can now say that I, too, hate Mallard Fillmore, and everything he stands for, and the lame cliche stereotypes he rode in on…
Here is the About the Characters page by Bruce Tinsley, creative of the aforementioned drivel. Last night I had only read the character description of Mallard Fillmore himself, and was pretty darn repulsed. But it actually gets worse. I must have some anti-emetics around here somewhere…

A seasoned, rumpled ex-newspaper reporter, Mallard now works for WFDR-TV in Washington, D.C. The fact that he’s a duck doesn’t stand out at Channel 3 nearly as much as that his politics are a lot more like yours and mine than Peter Jennings’ and Jane Fonda’s. He thinks we average, hardworking Americans need a break instead of a lecture. Mallard thinks taxes are too high, educational standards are too low, and that the “radicals” of the ’60s and ’70s now set the establishment’s politically correct media agenda. He’s gonna shake ’em up a little.

Okay, huuuuuge red flag in the mention of Jane Fonda. Have you ever known anyone to bring up Jane Fonda (who, as far as I know, hasn’t really been in the news or making movies lately) unless they have an enormous right-wing bug up their bum? And the “his politics are more like yours and mine” is like fingernails on a chalkboard to me. Yup, just us reg’lar ‘Merican folks. We don’t care for them lib’rulz and their taxes and their political correctness. So we’ll vote for the good, honest, old-fashioned Republicans who are sending our jobs and our kids overseas.

Oh, and, WTF with “the establishment’s politically correct media agenda”. Where does this guy live? I, myself, would love to see some evidence of this “liberal media” that has this guy’s tightie whities in a bunch.

Anyway, as I said, it only gets worse…

Congressman Veneer
No chin, and a backbone to match. Veneer never met a tax hike he didn’t like. All of his kids go to private school, but he opposes vouchers for the rest of us. (What if his daughter started dating one of the “Voucher Kids”?)

Okay, now my anger is reaching an unsafe level. Think of puppies, Renee, think of puppies. Think of Fred Rogers–he managed to think gentle thoughts about people even when they were acting like total jerks.

Nah, I really don’t think I can post any more of these excerpts. My bad wolf is really starting to feel frisky, and my good wolf is getting scared. But, if you want to read more, click here.

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