Inspired by Larry C. Johnson’s very fine diary A Very Shia Christmas.
Barely had to change a WORD. just do a little…rearranging.
J. Fred Coots and Haven Gillespie (Gotta be made up names…CIA, more’n likely) even reference Rummy in the original. You could look it up.
Read on…
“Shia Claus Is Comin’ To Town”
I just came back from a lovely trip
Along the Milky Way
I stopped off at the North Pole
To spend a holiday.
(HAARP headquarters, don’tcha know.)
I called on dear old Shia Claus
To see what I could see
He took me to his big workshop
And told his plans to me.
(Kill ’em all. Let God sort ’em out. The good’uns’ll get into Paradise anyway. Right?)
So…
You better watch out
You better not cry
You better not pout
I’m telling you why
Shia Claus is coming to town
(Es ist verboten!!!!)
He’s making a list
And checking it twice;
Gonna find out who’s naughty or nice.
Shia Claus is coming to town
(Kickin’ ass and QUOTIN’!!!)
He sees you when you’re sleeping
He knows when you’re awake
He knows if you’ve been bad or good
So be good for goodness sake
(SURVEILLANCE!!!)
With little tinhorns and little toy bombs
Bushy toot toots and Rummy tum tums
Shia Claus is coming to town
And kinky head dolls that wobble and bleed
Antitank guns mean less mouths to feed
Santa Claus is comin’ to town
(WHEEE!!!)
The kids in girl and boyland
Will have a jubilee
They’re gonna build a Toyland town
All around the Shia tree
(BOOM!!!)
You better watch out
You better not cry
You better not pout
I’m telling you why
Shia Claus is coming to town
Shia Claus is coming
Shia Claus is coming
Shia Claus is coming to town
(Coming to town)
The Mahdi is a busy man
He has no time to play
He’s got millions of tons of bombs to drop
To drop on Christmas day.
Ohhhh…
You better watch out
You better not cry
You better not pout
I’m telling you why
Shia Claus is coming to town
Shia Claus is coming to town
(Coming to town)
Shia Claus is coming to town
(Coming to town)
Shia Claus is coming…
Shia Claus is coming…
Shia Claus is coming…
To town.
(To YOUR town too. REAL soon, kids!!! BET on it. And you thought that Shia Pet you got last Christmas was harmless. Talk into this plant, please.)
AG
