This is a take on a previously published editorial, which unfortunately I can no longer find to credit it appropriately.
Kreepy International News Service
Wednesday, December 21, 2007
Camp David, MD, December 20: El Presidente Bush, hoping to develop into Oppressor for Life, has specified the key proposals of a clandestine 230-page development deed entitled “Rationalizations for GOP Party Rule in America.”
Hundreds of sources confirm that revolutionary coercion and attacks against key American towns such as Hutchinson, KS, Poway, CA, Williamsburg, VA and other vital towns in America, will be used to activate the creation of a nationalized unanimity coalition, the Americans Should Stop Having Organized Liberties Everywhere, or the ASSHOLE Party. After ASSHOLE is organized, it will be ORDERED by El Presidente to hang up the US Constitution and affirm “obligatory and indispensable procedures” to wrestle the war on terror into the American soil.
Now that such a threat exists, Our Fearless Leader, El Presidente Bushco must proclaim an urgent situation, so as to issue an emergency Pronouncement of Nationwide Accord or He might have ASSHOLE declare an emergency declaration or maybe the sheeple can be trusted to vote on a countrywide referendum to relinquish their rights.
This preparation derives from EL Presidente’s progressively more antagonistic contacts with his opposition over lagging support of the Patriot Act, warrantless wiretapping, the Black Hole prisons, the wanton permitting of torment, anguish and dehumanization, indefinite incarceration of an assortment of detainees, and alleged war crimes all over the world. After all what is a wannabe dictator supposed to do.
El Presidente’s oomph has been disproportionately preoccupied with a determined justification of warrantless wiretapping, his followers declare. The Federal Wiretap Act, the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act, and the Patriot Act all formulate comprehensibly that no US Citizen has any inherent right to privacy over telephone conversations, e-mail, mail, pagers, wireless phones, computers, and any other electronic devices for communications, they declare. The majority US Citizens do not comprehend that they have no right to thwart administration prying into communications, bank and library records, and any thing else the Government wants to check out, El Presidente’s obsequious followers assert.
Even as El Presidente’s unconstitutional activities have not thus far led to his impeachment, he is resistant to the meager democratic unfriendliness that has occurred. Sycophantic supporters dread if Bush is impeached, he will acquire Saddam Hussein’s performances in court as a mold, alternately shouting at the court, hurling temper tantrums, and walking out. They wish to prohibit impeachment if at all possible.
In spite of his oath of office, El Presidente has stated clearly to his sycophants “Stop throwing the Constitution in my face. It’s just a goddamned piece of paper.” Still, the development document makes a case that the only way to defend the Constitution is to shelve it for the next 200 years or until the war on terror is won, whichever lasts the longest.
Followers of the plan disagree that it simply lengthens, rationalizes, and congeals the already existing movement within U.S. government. Rivalry in government is just as uneconomical, unruly, and contradictory as open market rivalry. What is required is an overall plan to progress forward as one nation with one path. Overcoming the adversary necessitates nothing less, according to the 230-page development deed entitled “Rationalizations for GOP Party Rule in America.”
The vacating of civil liberties, destruction of the Bill of Rights, and annihilation of the Constitution would merely be codified, supporters pronounced. Previous Presidents could not fight their battles by remaining steadfast to the Constitution. Why must El Presidente Bush be treated in such a manner as to diminish his ability to annihilate the Constitution, they pose?
The InJustice Department has offered the El Presidente’s Capo’s with a sequence of messages authored by John Yoo, Alberto Gonzales, and others Fascists that make lawful all the wished-for procedures.
El President’s intrinsic rights as Commander-in-Chief, they inscribe, permits him to pronounce hostilities. In any case, this is dependent with recent accounts because they state, Clinton ignored the 1973 War Powers Resolution. Yoo’s argument is that even civil liberties advocates rejoice in his image of presidential power, because they agree with the President’s desire to subject the nation to oligarchy. Given that all branches of government have in fact discounted the Constitution, Yoo sees no grounds why Bush cannot now do the identical actions, but more successfully and proficiently in a time of general crisis.
El Presidente desires to audaciously pronounce an all-out confrontation on the citizen’s of America. America is the next linchpin in the unending war on terrorism, according to the 230-page development deed entitled “Rationalizations for GOP Party Rule in America” and one that can succeed quite simply and speedily.
Opinionated Democrats, a number of affiliated party members, and other anti-war and civil libertarian activists are progressively more scrutinized as coercive to organize, pessimistic, cohorts of revolutionary’s, and collaborators.
Anyone who disagrees with El Presidente is actually a seditious terrorist and should be handled as such because of their serious threat to national defense. According to the 230-page development deed entitled “Rationalizations for GOP Party Rule in America” it is imperative that we decontaminate America prior to continuing forward with any additional out of the country warfare.
El Presidente’s future overseas conflicts shall not be hindered, as our current war to subjugate brown people has been, by intolerant, scrawny, spineless hypocrites, pragmatist, fair weather flag-wavers and shadowy doomsayers who incessantly disparage the compassionate efforts of the fascists to recommend autocratic and theocratic alternatives to democracy. It is imperative that first we must free America from its detractors, before continuing the resubjugation of brown peoples worldwide.
El Presidente Bushco, accepts as true that his ability as a wannabe dictator of the only enduring superpower in the world should have supremacy that is proportionate with that position. Accordingly, it is to make a case, of why should Robert Mugabe be the Eternal President and not El Presidente Bush? And of course why should Hirohito and Hitler have been given the prestigious Presidents for Life and not El Presidente Bush, when the U.S. is a far superior fatherland than Japan, Germany, or Zimbabwe? The plan is of two minds on if our new Dictator wannabe be labeled with one of two new posts, shall he be called Great Leader for Life or Oppressor for Life. We have selected Oppressor for Life.
El Presidente’s sycophantic followers deem that a sole Americans Should Stop Having Organized Liberties Everywhere with an Oppressor for Life will infinitely reinforce the capability of the U.S. to achieve worldwide domination. They clearly want to show the rest of the world’s infinitely weaker leaders, that when El Presidente Bush articulates as Oppressor for Life, he has no disagreement at all in the Fatherland. Clearly showing he will be unrestrained by internal dissenting coalitions, the supremacy of the U.S. will be greater than before even beyond his sycophants wildest dreams.
The instrument to accomplish these transformations is a new Political Party, the Americans Should Stop Having Organized Liberties Everywhere, which will displace the Democratic and Republican parties. El Presidente Bush’s fascist supporters contend that most Democrats will leap at the opportunity to carve up control, particularly if such authority augments their own abilities to reap the financial benefits, after the new party shelves the Constitution.
According to the 230-page development deed entitled “Rationalizations for GOP Party Rule in America” requirements for heir apparent to El Presidente Bush, which endows Americans Should Stop Having Organized Liberties Everywhere with the choice from highly placed sycophantic members of the two main parties, and are anticipating a significant uniting of sustainable support for the Americans Should Stop Having Organized Liberties Everywhere. In the future, a 50-member Oppression Council, hand picked from the most fascistic corporate leaders in the US, would provide as a propagation arena for descendant tyrannical rulers.
Yet, some rifts are appearing in the midst of democrats as they see their own powers dwindling. One faction, clearly wants to maintain the present scheme, they believe that two distinct names and two opposing parties permits the electorate to accept as true, that intermittent changes in the party connections of elected officials will make a noteworthy differentiation to prevailing U.S. strategies and schema’s. However there is in fact a secret faction within the Democratic Party that desires to move forward out of the clandestine pogrom and acknowledge its goal of Americans Should Stop Having Organized Liberties Everywhere.
The American peoples response to the September 11, 2001, catastrophe is the representation for the subsequent chain of events perceived by El Presidente’s sycophantic believers. A number of El Presidente’s closest Capo’s have expressed their deepest lament that more radical achievements to disembowel the Constitution were not implemented during those dark days. These Capo’s have made it clear they will not allow this original error to occur again. They judge that the populace will overpoweringly carry water for El Presidente in any crisis that he pronounces, whether it is, authentic, make believe, or fictitious as deemed by the super secret NSA, CIA, or the Pentagon.
El Presidente merely has to follow what his, supporting Capo’s articulate. That is flood the airwaves with his bland voice in a myriad of vocalizations, scripted from all his previous speeches defining 9/11 and Iraq as the same war, that have in some measure recreated some shoring up for his War on Global Terrorism. The acceptance and inconsistency of the American civic mind have established time and again, they accept as true anything El Presidente states as fact. However once the Americans Should Stop Having Organized Liberties Everywhere authoritatively destroys the Constitution, they will in no way have to be concerned about the electorate ever again.
Once the fascist sycophants of El Presidente have lured the gullible electorate into turning their lives over to the Corporate Theocratic Americans Should Stop Having Organized Liberties Everywhere, life will be dictated forever by those who have always hated American’s freedoms.