Just in time for the 2006 midterms, Diebold has boldly taken e-voting one step further with their new VERSION 8.0 of their electronic voting machines.
(NEW MACHINE REVEALED BELOW THE FOLD!!)
Diebolds VERSION 8.0
You may ask — “Where is the touch-screen?”
or — “How do I vote with this exciting new technology?”
Good questions!
Diebold has advanced voting technology into the future with this little baby. In fact, some may wonder if the blue-prints were given to Diebold by innovative space aliens.
You see, voting has never been easier — thanks to Diebold.
With Diebold’s patented “alpha-wave technology ®” — one merely has to think of who she wants to vote for and “voila!”, the vote is tabulated.
– no more embarrassing instances of voting for one candidate only to see that you voted for another candidate on the screen
– no more messy paper jams
– accessible to all
And counting the votes has never been easier!! Election workers need not be trained anymore (think of the money that will save!!).
1. Simply ask the question — for example, “Did Jebb Bush come up with the most votes with this machine?”
2. Flip the machine upside-down and “presto!” — the results are in, chief.
Thank God for American innovation!
Sec. of State Condaleeza Rice endorsing Version 8.0:
This prototype of Version 8.0 was found to be too small to be trusted by the Diebold design team (people seemed to have a tremendous urge to endorse candidates who had an affinity to snooker):
One of the software engineers getting into the fun:
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If you get the seriousness behind this satirical diary, please visit this Flash Slapdown presentation…
American democracy is at stake.
