If you are ever confused if the Bush presidency is a fiefdom, theifdom or a combination of the two, consider these wise words from Attorney Generalissimo Alberto Gonzales: “federal judges should not substitute their personal views for the president’s judgments in wartime.”

Please do not fret if a picture of a weasel appears before your eyes when you read the Generalissimo’s admonition.
Also, take multiple deep breaths and rest thy pounding heart because, as we all well know, George Bush has continuously displayed and expressed exemplary personal judgment throughout his regime. We can count on him. Let’s admire the glorious ways of his remarkable counsel to America:

    * “Bin Laden determined to attack inside the U.S.” (headline of August 6, 2001 presidential daily briefing)

    * “Brownie, you’re doing a heckuva job” (said to FEMA Director Michael Brown amist the Katrina tragedt)

    * The person who runs FEMA is someone who must have the trust of the president. Because the person who runs FEMA is the first voice, often times, of someone whose life has been turned upside down hears from”

    * I’m pleased to announce my decision to nominate Congressman Porter Goss as the next Director of the Central Intelligence Agency. Porter Goss is a leader with strong experience in intelligence and in the fight against terrorism. He knows the CIA inside and out. He’s the right man to lead this important agency at this critical moment in our nation’s history” George, how many months did this ‘right man’ last?)

    * “I like to tell people when the final history is written on Iraq, it will look like just a comma because there is — my point is, there’s a strong will for democracy”

    * “You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror”.

    * “I’m the decider, and I decide what is best. And what’s best is for Don Rumsfeld to remain as the Secretary of Defense”

    * “See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda”

    * “Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren’t able to practice their love with women all across this country”

    * “Haven’t we already given money to rich people? Why are we going to do it again?” (Bush adding his handlers regarding the second tax cut)

    * “My plan reduces the national debt, and fast. So fast, in fact, that economists worry that we’re going to run out of debt to retire”

    * “The British government has learned that Saddam Hussein recently sought significant quantities of uranium from Africa.” (included in 2003 State of the Union speech)

    * “I would say the best moment of all was when I caught a 7.5 pound largemouth bass in my lake” (when asked about the best moment of his presidency)

    * “America better beware of a candidate who is willing to stretch reality in order to win points.” (on the 2000 campaign trail)

Arrrgghhhh!!! Get me to the emergency room! Stat!