Silly Obama. He’s visiting NORAD today when everyone knows that the proper training to be commander-in-chief is to bone up on children’s books like The Pet Goat.

Or he could read Christopher Hitchen’s account of getting waterboarded. Spoiler: He didn’t care for it.

There’s always the New York Times’ account of how the Gitmo interrogators inadvertently adopted Chinese Korean-War era interrogation methods (usually referred to as ‘torture’ and ‘brainwashing’) that are known to provide false confessions. Oops.

Even better experience is to read-up on how your major donors can contribute to Latin-American death squads. That’s as All-American as Ollie North and Ronald Reagan.

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