For those not familiar with the story…

In the weeks after the September 11 attacks, as everyone struggled to process the tragedy in their own way, native New Yorker Larry David naturally turned to the pitch-black humor that is his trademark. Returning to his greatest creation, he wrote a new Seinfeld script set four years after the series finale, in which the main characters are each affected by the historical event. In keeping with series tradition, it was titled simply “The Twin Towers”.

The original cast members, finding the script a masterstroke of comic audacity beyond even the notorious “Susan licks the wedding envelopes” episode, agreed to reprise their roles if NBC donated their salaries to 9/11 charities. The network was terrified by the subject matter but found the ratings prospects of a reunion show too tempting to resist.

However, after the episode was filmed, the furious audience comment cards – “You should all be ashamed of yourselves!” – convinced the executives that it would be disastrous to air it. Depending on which source you believe, all tapes were destroyed – or a single copy remains guarded deep in the studio vaults for the day when, with audience sensitivities lessened by the passage of time, it may yet have financial value. The prinicipals involved now refuse to even allow the subject to be broached in interviews and “The Twin Towers” has become The Day The Clown Cried of situation comedies.

Thus the fevered excitement among hardcore Seinfeld fans that the shooting script has at long last been leaked to the Internet. I personally found it funnier than anything aired in the series’ final season. But if you are someone whose connection to the tragedy makes this still Too Soon, do yourself a favor and stay away.

(OK, none of that is true. This is just a brilliant pastiche by comedian Billy Domineau. But it is so well done that I can easily imagine it being such a script. So I will enjoy pretending that it is.)

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