That was a weird Super Bowl. Both teams’ defenses played very well, but the offenses and special teams were filled with very consequential mistakes. Two of the biggest plays in the game were a fumbled punt return and a missed extra point attempt. The team that lost actually dominated the game for three quarters but couldn’t build a substantial lead. In the end, neither team played like the best team in football, but it did go to overtime, so as ragged as it was to watch at times, it didn’t disappoint in the suspense category. Patrick Mahomes delivered a legendary do-or-die drive to win the Lombardi Trophy, exactly as the Deep State had scripted it.
Just like we drew it up. pic.twitter.com/9NBvc5nVZE
— Joe Biden (@JoeBiden) February 12, 2024
I didn’t want either team to win. As a New York Giants fan, the 49ers are a legendary rival. As are the Eagles where Chiefs head coach Andy Reid coached for 14 years and seemingly beat the Giants twice a year the whole time (actual record: 15-13, plus 2-1 record in the playoffs). I found myself rooting for the 49ers unsure of exactly why, but primarily because it was such a pleasure to watch their defense blow up all Andy Reid’s plays.
Yet, somewhere in the back of my mind I never forgot about the Taylor Swift angle. A loss for the Chiefs would be a loss for Travis Kelce which would put a sour note his fairy tale romance with Swift who everyone knows was just there to endorse Joe Biden’s reelection. I knew the whole MAGA world was ironically rooting for the gay marxist team from the Bay Area. Did I really want them to celebrate at Travis and Taylor’s expense?
The answer was ‘no,’ and so as Mahomes received the ball in overtime with one chance to win the Super Bowl for Team Biden, I at last saw enough value in such an outcome that I could root for it. I was hoping Kelce would make the winning catch.
That didn’t happen, but an exciting finish did. It was a highly entertaining game and super competitive, unlike so many Super Bowls that have been blowout mismatches (remember when the gay marxist team beat the Denver Broncos 55-10? That was boring).
And now that Travis and Taylor have been crowned world champions, they can sweep all enemies from the field and save the world from fascism.
I’ll remember this Super Bowl more than most.