After two terms of neo-con rule, the nation is looking at thousands dead, hundreds of billions wasted, a national reputation in tatters, record oil prices, record deficits, and an economy so antsy it goes from red to black and back again in a day.  It’s now clear that the president lied to get his war on, and that his head advisor outed a CIA agent in a fit of spite.  Ever wonder how Republicans can hope to beat Democrats in the next round of elections?  Answer: they don’t.

In fact, Republicans don’t even plan to confront Democrats.  Not real Democrats, anyway.  Because what the Republicans are up to now is the business of constructing an enemy they can beat.  They’re stewing up an enemy so vile, so evil, so distasteful that it makes the Khmer Rouge and Idi Amin look warm and fuzzy.  Instead of taking on real issues, they’re creating fake enemies — Straw Democrats.  

How to spot a Straw Democrat

A Straw Democrat hates Christians.

“Like a moth to a flame, Democrats can’t help themselves when it comes to denigrating and demonizing Christians,” Hostettler said.

A Straw Democrat is too soft to fight America’s enemies.

Rove, the architect behind President Bush’s election victories, on Wednesday night told a gathering of the New York Conservative Party that “Liberals saw the savagery of the 9/11 attacks and wanted to prepare indictments and offer therapy and understanding for our attackers.” Conservatives, he said, “saw the savagery of 9/11 and the attacks and prepared for war.”

A Straw Democrat isn’t patriotic.

To a liberal, the significant events of America’s past are not World War I, World War II, the Cold War, freedom and liberty – they are smallpox, and the Trail of Tears, and internment.

Straw Democrats hate America.

…they so hate America in general that the intentional slander of its leader, military, and citizens is thought to be an act of honor and courage.

Straw Democrats support “terrorist” teacher’s unions instead of education.  

Education Secretary Rod Paige called the nation’s largest teachers union a “terrorist organization” during a private White House meeting with governors on Monday.

Straw Democrats buy the votes of minorities they secretly hate by keeping them in a constant welfare state.

One of the biggest con jobs in American political history has been that which the Democratic Party has perpetrated on the American people. To justify the existence of the socialistic welfare state, along with the $1.7 trillion in taxation needed to fund it, Democrats proclaim, “We love the poor, the needy, and the disadvantaged.”

These are all good signs of Straw Democrats, but the biggest clue is Straw Democrats don’t have names.  They’re a faceless hoarde of tree-huggers, out to hand over our country to Osama while growing the government to the size of the solar system.  They’re a bunch of namby-pamby stuck up snobs who want to take away everything you ever valued.

And the very best thing about Straw Democrats?  They never fight back.  Which is what Real Republicans, and Real Media need.  Real Republicans — Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, and on down the line — have screwed the pooch too badly to ever outpunch another flesh and blood opponent.  But as long as the Real Media allows them to shadow punch again Straw Democrats, they’ll do just fine.

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